TW!! ABUSE, NEGLECT, AND ANXIETY
Day of the funeral.
Everyone that had known them was there. I tried to see if I could find Toby, and as I thought, there he was. He was wearing the same outfit, only this time he wore proper shoes, other than that, he was still the same, he is the same, he never changed. He saw me looking at him, and from his seat, waved kindly and smiled. I responded with a glum smile and tired eyes.
My friends' father spoke for them. I always loved their dad, he treated me like I was his own, oh how I'd dreamed to have a dad like him, unfortunately, god has it's favourites, and i'm not one of them. It was now my turn to speak, I grabbed my poem, and with knees shaking, walked up to the podium to start my eulogy. The amount of eyes on me was almost too much to handle, but I had to, for the sake of them, I just looked at my papers the entire time I read. God knows how pathetic I looked, I was ashamed to know Toby was seeing me, and that maybe they were too. Near the end, my voice began to crack, and my eyes swelled, yet I continued, I had to. And after all was said and done, as the crowd clapped, I broke. I ran off that stage, I felt Toby get up from his seat and look over to me. At that moment I didn't care if I was embarrassing or humiliating, I just wanted to be alone, but every thought in my head, every memory of them screamed and got louder, and louder, and louder. I ran into the funeral home and past the place where me and Toby had met, and stormed into the bathroom, luckily, no one was there. Just me and my perpetuating thoughts. I got into a stall, and sobbed uncontrollably, so much that my throat became dry. "I-I just.. D-don't know w-what to do... I c-can't do this wi-thout you.." I muttered hoarsely.
Part of me wanted for Toby to come after me, and I feel like he wants to.
But I didn't need company, I needed to scream,cry and wail.
I felt like Toby understood that too.
...
For dinner, it's the same tonight. Takeaway, while I'm in my room, my mothers downstairs in her office, and my dads yelling at the football match on TV. This is what dinner is usually like, sometimes If my mums not out doing business and dad's out with friends, we eat together on the floor in the living room and talk. But, If she's unfortunately gone, I sit in my room while dads downstairs and bosses me around like a man child. Sometimes slapping me if I didn't do it how he wanted me too or talked back. I usually dont talk to him. Who would want to? He has more fun spending time getting drunk with his divvy mates other than spending time with his son. I was sitting on my bed, zoning out, my eyes stiff from crying. Then it struck me. Toby gave me his phone number! After I shook his hand, he said: "If you ever need company- because I know it's gonna be hard- b-but if you need it, message me, or call me, I'm free whenever really." Then he passed me a piece of paper with a series of numbers on it. I scrambled off my bed and scurried through the pockets of the clothes I wore that day. I found a familiar piece of paper in the front pocket of the blazer. "Yes.." I murmured in relief. I got onto my bed, grabbed my phone, and punched the numbers into the phone.
I was about to type something, then stopped myself. Was I being a burden? What if he doesn't respond? What if he leaves me on read and ignores me? What if this was a mistake? I decided to swallow my pride, and shakily typed.
"Hello"
Too straight forward?? I erased it.
"Hey Toby"
Ugh, too casual. I erased it.
"Hi Toby, It's [Y/N], just saying you're really cute-"
What? Okay now I was taking the piss. I erased it. I thought long and hard, then typed.
"Um Hey Toby, It's me, [Y/N], I just thought I'd say hi, how are you?"
Sent.
I waited for a while, but then got impatient. This was a mistake. I shivered. What if he was ignoring me???
"Please respond."
I desperately typed. After sending it, I realised how pathetic I sounded, but I couldn't help it. Deep down, I was pathetic. I started picking the skin off my nails, out of boredom, and anxiety. Bring! I grabbed my phone quickly and unlocked it. As I had hoped, it was from Toby.
"Oh hey [Y/N]! Sorry for the late response, just had dinner and had to clean up, and I'm doing alright, better than before, i'll get through it tho, hru??"
He was eager to talk to me, I could tell. It made me so happy, but I don't know why.
"Hah yeah, im decent, thanks for asking"
My god I'm so dry.
"That's good, I hope your resting up and taking time for yourself, you need it :)," He typed
That message gave me butterflies, why?? He was hoping I was alright, why did that make me flustered???
"Yeah, I will, you take care too, okay?" I typed.
"As Long as you do, then it's a promise!:D" He responded.
I felt a tingle go down my spine. A promise? Hah, I can't be with this boy.
"A promise it is then :)" I blushed.
Then, The phone started vibrating. I was quite stunned, but reluctantly, I answered his call. "Um hey?" My voice was still hoarse and low, I quickly cleared my throat afterwards. "Hey [Y/N]! Um I have a question," He asked cheerfully. "Uhm, sure, ask away" I responded, my voice still low and dim. "Do you live near Avisford Park?" He asked nervously. I pondered, I didn't live too far from it, but why did he want to know? "Yesss?? Why?" I answered with caution. "Sigh okay, oh know this is weird because we've barely even talked to each other- but do you wanna hang out tomorrow???" He asked, I could hear his nervous grin. I stopped to think about this. But then again, what was I doing tomorrow? Mum was gonna be at work, and I would be stuck with him all day. "... would anyone else be coming?" I asked. "Only if you wanted- i mean i've got too close friends but y'know ones a bit obnoxious and the other, is- sorta inbetween," He explained. I thought for a while, then sighed. "I'll go," I say. "Really?? Thanks! I appreciate it-" He chuckles. "Anytime, but who are your friends?" I asked. "Um, well the obnoxious one is Tommy, he's my best friend and has been for so long, he can be chill but he's always super hyped. Then there's Mark, but we call him Ranboo. He's quiet at the start, but if you get to know him more he's very cool and rarely loud. He's also insecure about his face so he wears a mask most times so don't ask him too much about that," He says. The thought of meeting new people kinda scared me, but excited me too.
"What time?"
"Can you do 11am?"
"Mhm, i can do 11"
"Alright then, thank you! I'll see you then," I can hear his wide smile,
"Anytime, see you then," I blush.
"Byee!"
"Bye,"
He hung up. And just like that I was more excited, scared, and upset than I had ever been. What would the future entail? I wondered. I stared at the ceiling, and smiled. It wasn't a happy nor sad smile. It was a smile of a sense of being found.
This is going well. I wrote this chapter in the spam of 4 hours. Lord help me. Thankgod its school holidays.
-Jacks
YOU ARE READING
[Unfinished.] 'Till Death Do Us Part __ Tubbo X MALE Reader
Fanfiction"They say deaths the finale. The final dance, The final chorus, and the final bow. Then the curtain closes, and it's all over. But wether or not said finale is upsetting or not, it brung him and I together, so a new show can shine through-out the st...