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{edwin honoret as himself}
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y/n's pov:
this was now my fifth time searching through my overnight bag for my phone charger. like honestly, where the hell could it be? i was beyond tired and possibly late to class, but i had no idea, because well, my phone died in my sleep. if the sun beaming down on the window hadn't caused me to stir, i'd probably still be fast asleep, oblivious to my responsibilities.
as my fingers felt the rugged edges of the plug, i knew i had located my charger at last. finally. i yawned, rubbing my eyes as i plugged up my phone, waiting for the screen to alert me of the time.
phew. it was only 10:56am. this was a relief considering i didn't have anywhere to be until after 1pm and not to mention, i was in someone else's bed.
i told myself weeks ago that i would put a stop to this, but clearly that was a lie. at this point, he was a regular, whether at my place or his, we were hooking up pretty consistently. just this week alone we had seen each other twice, and it was only wednesday. i promise im not obsessed or anything, i just enjoy having someone to lay next to. loneliness never looked good on me.
ive worked hard over the past two months to push a certain someone to the back of my brain, but i couldn't help but compare the two of them. i wondered how ed would feel knowing someone was having me in all the ways he used to. granted, the sex with josiah was average at best, and we didn't have nearly the same relationship. he wasn't even the type i'd usually go for, but nonetheless, i did wonder.
i slightly cringed at the thought of being that girl that was sleeping with one guy while fighting to keep her ex's name from slipping out. but honestly, it wasn't like that. as much as josiah was a rebound by definition, i was pretty much over edwin. it had been almost four months and to be truthful, life wasn't horrible. a lot of things were actually better now that we had broken up. i no longer had to question my place in his life or be bombarded with questions about my own loyalty, it was nice.
before my mind could spiral any further into validating my life choices, in walked josiah with his boxers riding low on his waist. i mean he truly was fine as hell. 6'1, caramel skinned with dreads, long curly eyelashes, and to add to that, he shared my weird taste in music, and strange love for granola... i don't get how he wasn't my type.
he looked over at me, his bright and goofy smile adorning his features.
"uh, did you sleep well?" he awkwardly toyed with one particular dread resting near his ear as he awaited my answer.
"yes. actually, a little too well. my phone died in my sleep." i decided to get out of bed and begin gathering my clothes, starting with my panties. neither of us established any rules about sleeping over or how long we could stay the next morning so when we left or what we did once we woke up varied. but on a day like today when i had class, i tried to be gone much earlier than this.
"oh yikes... i'm sorry, i should've woken you up," josiah was frequently a stuttering, cute mess that apologized for anything and everything so i often put him out of his misery. today was no different.
"j, you had no way of knowing that my phone would die. as far as you knew i had alarms set. plus, i still have plenty of time to get home, get showered and make it to class on time."
it always humored me how awkward josiah was the morning after considering how dominant he could be in bed. his gentle nature and unwavering willingness to cuddle is what kept me coming back, even more so than the sex. plus, he was a sweetheart with a sense of humor out of this world, but yet and still, i didn't want him like that.
as i unplugged my charger from the outlet, and packed it away, josiah came over and sat on the bed near where i stood.
there's that contagious smile of his again.
i smiled back, finding a comfy spot to stand between his legs, dipping down to kiss his forehead. i went to turn away, but josiah grabbed a handful of ass, pulling me closer.
"j," i whined, "you know i gotta get to class."
"yea i know, but a forehead kiss? who am i, your grandson?" he replies causing us both to laugh.
"well unfortunately, i have not brushed my teeth yet so no kisses can be granted elsewhere." i giggle as he groans and releases me from his grip.
"fine, fine. we'll continue this later though?" he asks hope present in his tone.
"possibly, i'm not sure how much homework i'll have but better believe i'll text you either way."
just like that i was heading out the door, hearing josiah lock it behind me. he really was a genuine guy, i just hoped we were on the same page and that neither of us would get hurt. with the past six months i'd had, i couldn't bare much else. plus, i needed this to continue with josiah until i was completely over ed, and for right now, i couldn't focus on what kind of person that made me.
i had reached my car and started my drive home, it wasn't terribly far, maybe 25 minutes. it wasn't until i pulled up to a stoplight that i realized i was driving in silence. i quickly reached for my phone, knowing i had limited time to get this music started before the light transitioned back to green. i decided to go to my browse section on apple music and check out the new music daily playlist.
the first song to play was some billie eilish track from her new project, "Happier Than Ever." i wasn't a huge fan or anything but no one could deny her talent, so i jammed along to it until it faded into the next track.
what i couldn't have possibly prepared for was the next song to start with a repetitive intro of go ahead's and then the all too familiar "IT'S PRETTYMUCH". i was completely unprepared, and as much as i wanted to skip the song, pull over and cry, i was way more interested in hearing this new track.
just because edwin and i hadn't worked out, didn't mean i wasn't just as invested in those boys. i was proud of this new era and their sound was so exclusive. i'd be lying if i said i hadn't thrown ass to corpus christi on multiple occasions as well.
after listening to this song, however, i was pissed... maybe even livid. how dare ed throw around the idea of trust so easily in a song, when we struggled so much with it in our own relationship? but i was even more pissed that i let myself get this upset over a song.
as i pulled into my driveway, i had one thought and one thought only: fuck you apple music.
