better off (e.h)

2: well, i know i'm a hard one to please

y/n's pov:

so here i am sitting in my car after suffering through my american history class. one, because my people's history is scarce in the textbooks and two, the little history that is written is white washed because the people that win the war get to paint history, and of course, they lie.

but today even more than normal, i was elsewhere. my mind was stuck on trying to comprehend the audacity of this man.

like i know he is no longer my business nor my responsibility, but so much of my time had been spent on him. and it was just so bold and hypocritical of him to speak openly on trust when i could vividly remember more than one context where our relationship lacked just that.

i began to dissect his verse in my mind, line by line.

"i know a lot of other guys are gonna buy you a drink, it don't phase me.
i'm proud of you, baby."

{flashback/third-person pov}

you had just left the set of the 10,000 hours music video.

the boys were all so hype that they decided to go back to the prettymuch house and celebrate. as much as you wanted to join the boys in taking celebratory shots, you'd promised your girls that you would hangout tonight. you'd been missing each other a lot since you and edwin became official.

you made promises, and ed knew this.

so as soon as you reached the doors, you were rushing to ed's room to get cleaned up. the boys were loud in the living room as usual and the vibes were immaculate. you were honestly sad to leave but you owed your friends a lit night out, and you tried your damnedest not to break promises.

after kissing ed goodbye, and telling him you'd try your best to text him when on your way home, you got into a vibe all by your lonesome.

once at the club, you had guys offering to buy you drinks left and right. you respectfully turned them down. but when some guy you recognized as being one of ed's friends from instagram approached you, you figured i know who i am loyal to so why not? he bought you the drink, that was the end of the story. you didn't chill together for more than 15 minutes.

so, when you finally get back home around 2am and saw the lights on, you were hoping to lay down with ed (and knowing the drink in your system, something more if he was down with it).

what you didn't know was that ed had been sitting on the side of his bed, holding his head in his hands over an instagram story from one of your friends. apparently they had posted a selfie of themselves that captured you in the background at precisely the time you were being bought that drink. now here edwin was on another level of jealousy.

you didn't remember everything clearly from that night, but what you did know is that somewhere in the conversation you laughed and said you didn't realize you were dating a detective. he took your nonchalant attitude offensively and said he didn't know he was dating a hoe.

you two argued, the boys eventually complained about the noise, and ultimately you didn't receive cuddles nor dick that night.

{flashback ended}

which brings me again to the nerve of him singing (with his full chest) that it doesn't phase him. because ed was anything but calm and collected in that room with me. and for him to even go as far as to say he would be proud had me flabbergasted and grasping for straws.

now, of course it was very possible that brandon had written these lyrics. or hell, maybe they recruited ed sheeran for another track, but regardless, i was disgusted at the thought of girls falling all over him thinking he's the dreamy guy who lives up to the lyrics he sings. that was far from reality.

"i know you wanna post that picture, baby you don't need permission to do it.
you know you're doing it right."

{flashback/third-person pov}

ed had his phone all up in your face. you could nearly taste the case and guess what material it was made of at this point.

"so you're really telling me you don't see anything wrong with this?" edwin looked at you with eyes wide. he was determined to get a reaction from you, but you were over it.

"no ed, i don't. please enlighten me," your tone dripped with sarcasm but edwin took that as permission to further explain his point.

you quickly tuned him out, looking through him and out of the driver's seat window. edwin proceeded to tell you every reason why he was upset about the post you'd made.

it was you in an oversized prettymuch shirt with no bottoms besides underwear on. it wasn't like anyone could see anything but for him, "it was just the principle". he talked about how guys shouldn't see you like this and how as much as he wanted promotion for the group, he didn't want it this way.

you both sat there in his car for God knows how long as he badgered you until you finally took down the photo for the sake of peace.

you just wanted to promote his ugly ass merch but here you were.

{flashback ended}

to say i was spiraling inwardly would not be false. it was hard to think back on those moments between ed and i, and not feel something.

but what was even harder to consider was that edwin might actually be doing all of these things that he sang about. that he'd learned his lesson. that all of that work i'd put in, some other woman would get to reap the benefits of.

i had so many mixed emotions and they all felt irrational, and maybe unnecessary, but they were present nonetheless.

in the midst of all of this, i get a text.

josiah ✨🖤

so you swamped with hw tonight or nah?

delivered

i stared at this message for a while, trying to decide how to respond. and as much as i wanted to keep escaping reality with j, i just couldn't today.

so, i texted someone else instead.

Maybe: edwin

i heard trust.
ig you're a changed man now?

delivered