A Paralyzer to the Pain

The Stranger

Hey everyone I just wanted to say that I don't promote deppression/anorexia/self harm or anything else like that. It's just part of my story. I know that my first story shouldn't be about something like this but I just.. I don't know. If you are triggered easily you probably shouldn't read this. If any of you are feeling alone and need someone to talk to, I'm here. Helpful Comments are appreciated. Enjoy the story~

I turned my head to the right and looked at my dark purple digital alarm clock. Reading the time,4:26 A.M., I realized that I have been laying on my bed staring at the ceiling for hours now. And all I have been thinking about is suicide.

I sat up and wiped the tears off my cheeks with my blood covered hands. Noticing I had accidentally got blood on my face, I went into my bathroom. Once I had gone in, I immediately stared in the mirror at my disgusting reflection. My dyed black hair looked more messy than usual. The mascara from the makeup I put on the day before and didn't bother to take off was in jagged lines running down my cheeks from the tears. My dark brown eyes were red and puffy, showing my misery within them. However, the first thing I noticed was the blood from the lines of scars on both of my arms. About seven on each arm were still bleeding, the warm blood pouring down to my hands. So, I turned on the sink water, and washed away all the blood from my face, arms, and hands not minding the water getting into my hair or on my clothes. Once all the blood had washed away, the scars still remained. I stared down at my arms displeased with all of the mistakes I have made over the past year.

Cutting just numbs the pain. It's not going to go away. Unless..unless I end this. I can end this right now. There is no point in continuing to live anyway.

I started to agree with my thoughts, finally giving up on life. I went to my closet and pulled on my favorite long sleeved sweatshirt and black jeans. Then, I went straight to the box under my bed. I opened it and looked through the the depressing poems, old photographs of my mother that had died when I was twelve, and other sentimental things; until I had found the suicide note I had wrote. I pulled it out and unfolded it. Before reading it, something in the box caught my eye. It was a locket my grandmother gave me right before she passed away last year. I grabbed it put it on, left the note on my pillow and ran out of my apartment up the stairs to the roof of the building.

When I got to the roof I walked slowly towards the edge, my mind urging me to jump over.

One more step and it will all be over.

I kept repeating to myself in my head over and over again. But my legs wouldn't take that step. Instead I ended up sitting down with my legs over the edge.

Come on just a little further.

My demons whispered.

Nobody wants you here on this earth anyway. Nobody will love you. Nobody will even care for you. You are worthless. You are ugly, stupid, and fat.

I leaned over the edge and stared down at the street below. I scooted closer..

"Hey..please stop." Said a boy's voice that I couldn't recognize.

I remained staring at the street below.

"Why?" I asked, my voice just below a whisper.

"Please..just please don't jump. Your life is worth more than you think." Said the guy, his voice filled with concern.

"This..this isn't your problem, y-you should just..leave." I said in a shaky voice.

"No. I won't leave you." He said with certainty.

I moved back a little from the edge. I felt his hand on my shoulder, but I still did not allow myself to look at his face.

"You belong in this world, and you have a purpose." He whispered.

He gently grabbed my upper arm and began to slightly pull me. I felt tingles from his touch, making me question the new feeling he has given me. I allowed him to pull me a couple of feet away from the edge and I stood up staring at the ground.

What does he want with me? Why is he here? Who is this stranger?

I thought while listening to him speak.

"Please listen when I say this. Life is worth it. You can make it. I know it. Happiness will come, you just have to have hope. Focus on the positive things in life and ignore your demons the best you can. I'm sorry I'm not very good at comforting people but please know I'm here for you." Said the stranger.

I began crying but not from pain. I had a warm feeling in my chest hearing those words and for a moment I couldn't hear the demons in my mind.

"I..I'm M-Melissa" I said through tears.

"I'm Jay." He said as he placed his hand on my chin and softly pushed my head up for me to look at him.