March 29
11.49pm
London, England
The crowd's roars still echoed in her ears as Taylor shook the sweaty blonde hair off her forehead and headed deeper into the underbelly of the stadium. Her heart was beating hard and she giggled from the sheer adrenaline rush. First night of the tour, though, and it was clear she needed to some exercise to get back into concert shape, she thought as she tried to catch her breath.
'Taylor! You want some water?' called a voice from behind her. Taylor didn't turn to see who it was. One of the tour support staff, no doubt.
'Thanks, but I think I'll just go straight to my room.' Although she was running high from performing, she could also already feel a growing ache in her temple. She wanted to be alone so she could call Karlie, not sit still for half an hour while other people brushed her hair and took off her makeup for her. She could do that herself.
The crowd sure was enthusiastic. London, how she'd missed this city. Not many people knew that she had nearly moved here last year. She'd been considering a move from Nashville for a long time, and had just about made up her mind. But then Karlie happened and there was no way Taylor was going to leave her in the States, so she'd stayed there and bought the apartment in New York instead.
She reached her dressing room, flipping the lightswitch carelessly and startling the cats curled up together on her couch, and made a beeline for her phone.
Karlie: Hey princess how was it? ❤️
Karlie: Show number 1
Karlie: Did you have fun? You should be finished by now right
Karlie: Miss youu
Karlie: Call me when you get these, ok. ☀️
Taylor smiled and hit 1 on speed dial, tapping her foot impatiently while she waited for Karlie to pick up. Olivia jumped off the couch and began to winding her way around Taylor's ankles.
Even after five months, she still felt fluttery and light-headed and soft inside at the thought of Karlie, Karlie who was the human version of a sunbeam, Karlie who she'd sometimes find in the kitchen at 5am trying out a new cookie recipe with bicarbonate soda in her hair and a crease in her forehead as she tried to work out whether to add apricot or pistachio. Taylor always tasted every cookie she made, even the trays that didn't work out so well and ended up a bit singed at the edges.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Karlie - "Hey, cookie. I've been missing you."
Her voice was an old florescent lightbulb, bright but flickering, and if you concentrate on it too much you'll get dancing spots on the inside of your eyelids. Taylor's heart flopped sadly, all the adrenaline from performing disappearing abruptly.
"I've missed you too. A lot. Although, London is just as gorgeous as I remember. I swear this place has more fun than anywhere else. You walk down the street past punks and women with extraordinary eye makeup and men in immaculate suits, past people who haven't changed out of their pyjamas and people on their way to school, and somehow it all makes sense together."
"I wish I was there too. How was the first performance of the tour? I'm sure you killed it but I'd like first hand confirmation. Since I couldn't be there myself to watch."
Taylor felt a little of the weight in her stomach slip away at the recent memory. "It was amazing, actually. I'd forgotten the joy of singing and putting on a show, for a huge crowd of people who are all as excited as they are. The air gets filled with this electric feeling. It's a whole 'nother level, you know?"
There was a pause at the other end. International calls are fairly slow, Taylor supposed.
When Karlie spoke she had that tone in her voice where Taylor could never figure out how she really felt. "I wish I could be sitting next you right now. You get this fire in your eyes when you talk about things you love, and I could just sit and watch it all day.
"You're very poetic, aren't you?" Taylor quipped, trying to lighten the mood. She wanted jokey Karlie right now, not passionate Karlie who would unintentionally make her feel bad about leaving her behind on the other side of the Atlantic.
"No, cookie, you're the songwriter. Remember?" Karlie said drily. A grin broke across Taylor's face. There she was.
"I wish I could hold your hand."
"If I was near you right now, I can tell you we'd be doing a whole lot more than holding hands. But that is very sweet. You're sweet."
"That's me. I'm like sugar. Speaking of sugar, have you done much baking while you've had the kitchen to yourself?" Taylor allowed herself to relax, kicking off her boots and swinging her feet up onto the bench as she leaned backwards on her chair. The little white cat jumped into her lap and promptly started purring. "I bet you've made a huge mess. I'll get home and there'll still be flour on the kitchen counter.
"You know me too well, Swift. I'm still trying to fix up that cinnamon and banana recipe from last week, 'cause I want to add it to the Karlie's Kookie's lineup. But every time I bake a batch the ingredients separate - the banana bits go into these weird blobs, it's gross. Anyway, I take them out of the oven and every single time they end up looking like weird clumpy UFOs."
Taylor exhaled contented. This was her Karlie, her absent-minded chatterbox with a golden soul. She listened as Karlie went on about her baking woes, soaking up the sound of her voice and letting it fill her up like hot chocolate on a winter's day.
After a while Karlie exhausted the topic of baking, and moved onto a new subject.
"Where are you now again? London. Is it raining?"
"You have a terrible short term memory, I just told you about London like ten minutes ago. And it's London, of course it's raining. At least it was this morning. Haven't been outside since about two pm, don't know what it's like now," Taylor replied. It was probably cold and miserable.
"You work so hard," Karlie said quietly. Her voice had lost its bright tone.
Taylor sighed softly. "So do you. Fashion season this year there was that period of about a month and a half where you weren't home at all."
"Don't change the subject," Karlie said grumpily. "Right now, I miss you. I even miss your cats and you know that I am strictly a dog person. And you're just gone, you've flown out of my reach. I know I sound overdramatic and possibly unhealthily attached, but I just miss you."
"Karlie Elizabeth Kloss. Do you think for one second that I don't miss you just as much, if not more? Because if so I can categorically confirm that you are very wrong. The hotel bed feel empty without you, breakfast this morning was too quiet, and I keep catching myself about to turn around and tell you some lame joke only to remember you're on another continent. It scares me, how much I miss you. I made a promise to you, remember it? I'm yours. There's a piece of metaphorical string that is binding my heart to yours and the knot is tied fast. I couldn't leave you if I tried, I'm so fucking far gone for you." Taylor said all of this very fast and then let out a huge, shaky breath, that she hoped Karlie didn't hear over the phone.
"I... Taylor. I love you so much. But you know that, of course." Again, Taylor couldn't quite describe Karlie's tone of voice. She thought maybe it was some kind of wistful, mixed with tenderness and longing, but maybe she was just projecting her own feelings.
"I love you too." It was past midnight, she realised as she was caught in a sudden wave of exhaustion. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I should really go to bed."
"Okay. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Really she should be used to unfamiliar beds, travelling the way she did, but this bed still felt cold and unfriendly.
YOU ARE READING
No Need to Say Goodbye - a kaylor fanfic
Fanfiction"Do you remember that day by the sea? It was high tide and the water was ice cold. Everyone describes the ocean as blue, but it wasn't blue that day, it was murky and grey." "Yeah, I remember. You were there, so it was perfect." Karlie Kloss and Tay...
