20 days.
I Haven't written since the week after. Because there is something about this town. Something that let another teen make that decision my brother did 8 days after he had. so since then, I've spent my days pretending all of my memories are made up. That he's made up because I have to be there for my best friend, as he had now lost one of their closest friends.
It's so weird, feeling this stagnant state of drain, and tired. I can't identify it to pain, but I know that's where it's coming from. Sadness hits me in both small and large waves, one at a time or one after another. I don't think about it, because I push it back. but then I think about the fact that he's literally decomposing in a box a few miles from my house. That's so I don't know, it burns in my chest.
I feel like, everyone has expected me to move on, my mom and my teachers, and its, how. How do you expect a 17-year-old, to get over the death of her little brother within 20 days? I know, I have to graduate, I'm overly aware of that. I'm overly aware that this is messing with my future, but I'm also overly aware that my future will forever never him skipping around alive again ever. There is no help, no understanding from any of them. nothing.
The first time I sobbed the hardest I could, would be last Friday, with my best friend as we mourned two separate people with the same demise. I don't know how to exist in my being. without freaking out. I can only listen to my music
YOU ARE READING
How to Greive a Little Brother
NonfiksiIs this an online diary? Is it notes for what I might truly right one day when I'm ready? I'm not sure. Here is your Trigger Warning for Death(by own hand), mental illness, abuse, eating disorders, and maybe more. But welcome yourself to my world...
