Illumi's heartbreak (illumi x Hisoko) (hiatus)

Prologue "why dose Illumi hide his feelings?"

Hisoka pov:

I had never seen illumi cry or smile, I always guessed he did but I never did see it once. And the one time I thought he felt something... It didn't go well.

The thought lingered in my head for way longer than it needed to 'why does Illumi hide his feelings?'

The thought crossed my mind again as I watched him, simply fearless stand on the edge of the rail. 'Don't fall' I thought as I walked closer. His feet seemed to barely be touching the rail. And the wind made his hair rise. I thought then and there I would lose him but he only jumped down next to me as I came closer.

'Why do you hide your feelings' I thought as I walked with him past a young butler, powerful and cool-headed but not my exact type. I had a meeting with his family- while they were similar in keeping feelings hidden they weren't anywhere close to Illumi. In hiding feelings, he outshowed them all.

Again it came to my mind as I watched the dark-haired male inch closer to my face. We had completed out assigned mission and despite the blood illumi almost looked clean. He slipped a finger onto my cheek and swiped away the blood on a closed cut. He licked the blood of his hands like he was a cat. It was cute I almost couldn't contain myself.

Again as I leaped towards him, a small knife in my hand, cards at the ready. Yet he just stood there. I froze as I got closer, I fell onto my knees with a small tap to the shoulder. I looked up at him with a huge smile, it was then I made a promise to myself, and to him. "Only you can kill me, but not until I know how you feel about me- then I promise you can do anything you want to me"

I knew I was gonna be in pain when illumi skidded back, a chair flew at my head. I hunted out of the way and nearly dodged the chair. "Im not your target" I said, no screamed at the younger male in front of me. One of illumi's brother's, I forgot the name of.. Maybe Kalluto- yes kalluto, she's the phantom troupe member. I looked back at Illumi who was now the one holding the chair, he quickly threw it back. This seemed to be the only effective way I had seen these two communicate... By throwing things and going for the kill. The question changed but also never did 'why does he hide his feelings from everyone?'

I thought I would finally get my answer when Illumi got a small, very small, super small cold. That's right, Illumi zoldyck can he sick. It did excite me, and worry me all at the same time. It was taken care of within a few hours, at least I couldn't tell if he was still sick or not, I had only known because I woke io before him and we had fallen asleep on the couch in my heaven's arena room. Something we started doing a lot more.

So after awhile I almost stopped asking... Until I finally asked Illumi. "What happened?" and he answered. All I knew was he hadn't completed his mission and he didn'sound very good yet at the same time he oozed bloodlustc, I could tell even through the phone he was weaker then I had ever seen him.
"I think a drug" his words where quiet, I thought he was in disbelief, I know I was.