Berengaria's Best: The Ultimate Short Story Collection

Always The Bridesmaid

(originally written as "Diamond-Eyed Robot" for Wattpadpunkfiction's Song of the Punk contest 2021)

"Hiya, cutie," Daisy said as she slid onto a velvet-topped bar stool in the dining car. The champagne flutes in the rack over her head tinkled lightly as they swayed along with the rhythm of the train.

The robot behind the bar who had been slicing lemons swivelled its head in the direction of the woman's voice. "Good evening," it answered in a crackle that issued from the grill in the lower part of its metal head. "May I get you something to drink?"

"You bet your toots you can. Gin and tonic. Heavy on the gin." Daisy let her glittering clutch handbag fall onto the bar with a soft thump.

"Coming right up. Please insert the left edge of your ticket into the slot." One of the robot's four hands of articulated metal gestured toward a chromed slit in the wood of the bar directly in front of its stomach.

Daisy opened her handbag and slipped the stiff paper into the slot as instructed.

The robot's diamond eyes sparkled with blue light as the information was processed, instantly altering to champagne as the ticket, and passenger, was recognised. "One gin and tonic, heavy on the gin for Miss McGillicuddy!" it said brightly as one of its arms reached for a highball glass and another one for the ice tongs.

Daisy shook her head. "Oh please. The only person who calls me Miss McGillicuddy is my boss, and I don't want to be reminded of him or that dump I work at, um..." Daisy hesitated as she searched for the robot's name embroidered in silver thread on its burgundy waistcoat.

"Joe," the robot said helpfully, inclining its head forward in greeting.

"Right, Joe. Just call me Daisy, cutie."

"Sure thing, Daisy...cutie." Joe emitted a tinny, staccato haha at his little joke, dropping ice cubes into the highball glass as he simultaneously reached for a bottle of gin and the tonic nozzle.

Daisy giggled. "That was good. You're a real kidder, aren't you, cutie?"

Daisy turned half-away and cast a glance around the dining car of the Metropolitan Express.

Only a few of the tables with their crisp white tablecloths hosted diners talking in hushed whispers to each other, if they spoke at all. The long diamond-shaped windows that dotted one side of the car showed a darkening landscape in a blur of yellows, blues, pinks and blacks, like images from a movie screen.

"Kinda quiet around here, huh Joe?" Daisy said, turning back to face the robot. Her gin and tonic was waiting for her, a perfect, electric green circle of lime perched on the edge like a deco lizard.

Joe scanned the car in response to his customer's remark. "It's early. The dining and bar wagon of the Metropolitan Express gets hopping at around nine in the evening. Currently it is," Joe hesitated for a second, "seven nineteen in the evening." After another slight hesitation, Joe added, "We'll be picking up a good number of passengers in Costa Ventura, where we shall be arriving in approximately forty-five minutes."

"Jumped the gun again, did I? Always the bridesmaid, never the bride." Daisy laughed to herself and took a sip of her drink, smacking her lips and sighing.

Joe recognised the sounds of a customer satisfied with their order, but was slightly confused by her comment. He internally consulted the extensive library of mixed drink recipes in the data cache, but could find nothing called "Jump the Gun" or which included the words "bride" or "bridesmaid". From that, he concluded that his customer - Daisy, as he'd made a note that she wished to be called - was making a comment on her life circumstances, and not placing another order.