Don't Stare at the Sun or You'll Go Blind

Chapter 10

Not caring was liberating.

After speaking with his father, Sasuke had spent the entire night lounging against a tree branch replaying their argument. The more he thought about all the words he'd said, the more the knot in his chest untangled and loosened. The words had just slipped out in a moment of frustration and anger. But the more he considered it, the more Sasuke started to make peace with the idea.

Was it so bad to be different from Itachi?

For as long as he could remember, Itachi had been his goal- his obstacle to surpass. Itachi had always been sitting on a throne or pedestal in his mind, the epitome of what a shinobi should be.

Sasuke had worked his whole life to walk the path that Itachi had blazed, gaining strength, and accomplishing milestones as quickly as he could. All the while, telling himself that one day he would close the gap between them and gain his father's approval. But by deciding to remove his father's opinion from the equation...

He would continue to train. He would grow stronger. Not for his father's sake, but for his own. Sasuke had his own reasons for getting stronger. A part of him would probably always subconsciously compete with Itachi. (But wasn't it a natural response to compete with a sibling?) But Itachi wasn't his only goal.

Every time he looked away, she managed to speed ahead. When they were kids, he was secure in the level of his strength over hers. Even after returning to the village, he hadn't felt too concerned by how much she had improved. Recently, however, Naruko's strength seemed to be growing at an exponential rate. Idly, Sasuke wondered how much stronger she would get- how far would she go?

It was a strange situation to be in. He both enjoyed and was frustrated by the challenge that she posed. He could admit to himself that spending the rest of their lives growing stronger and constantly pushing each other sounded like a satisfactory way to live. (But he still wanted to be better than her.)

Newly revitalized by the reorientation of his goals, Sasuke hadn't felt the dread that he'd grown accustomed to when he spotted Naho. His good mood must have been apparent because she seemed even more desperate than usual to be by his side. Surprisingly, his patience with her lasted longer than he expected.

His increased patience didn't extend to his father, however. Truthfully, Sasuke wasn't sure what to expect when he saw his father again. Would he act like last night hadn't happened? Or would he try to approach Sasuke amicably? Did Sasuke even want that?

His neglect must not have been what Fugaku had expected, because the man seemed to struggle with himself upon Sasuke's avoidance. Sasuke could feel his father's surreptitious glances, but he chose to ignore them. (The reversal of their roles was not lost on Sasuke.)

Despite all his revelations from the previous night, Sasuke was still a bit annoyed and upset with his father. To combat this, he repeated his mantra that he no longer cared what his father thought. Be it his father, an arbitrary clan member, or anyone who had compared him to his brother in the past, Sasuke was through with burdening himself with their opinions.

Around midday, his father managed to summon enough courage to approach him during a rare moment of solitude. Sasuke didn't acknowledge his father at first, choosing to remain on his tree branch and wait the man out instead. After about a minute of silence, his father quite loudly cleared his throat. Pausing his lunch, Sasuke peered over the side of the tree branch with a raised brow.

"Sasuke, come down here. I'd like to speak with you," Fugaku started.

What was there left to say? The thought crossed his mind that he didn't have to listen. His father couldn't force him to comply. Nonetheless, Sasuke finished his last onigiri before hopping off his branch and facing his father. Sasuke waited for his father to speak, but the man seemed to be struggling to put his words together.