Touché (🍋Lemon GarouxReader🍋)

Rapier Wit

Note: sorry for not being able to update Love/Hate yet! Please enjoy this fun little story I wrote before I did Love/Hate :) :) Love you all!

Alphabetical order is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. It can be your best friend or the most cruel mistress. For teachers and students both. Lifelong friendships have been made by it and others destroyed at the start of a new year. It's a funny thing, alphabetical order.
In class 3-2 this year she has proven to be a mixed bag. For you, a blessing as you sit in front of your best friend Tama, and share a bench with her in labs. But that seems to be the end of its positive attributes. For example, the sparkly Hina and Umi have somehow ended up right next to each other and so have Ryoma and Hachirou, the hulk twins. And poor Shogo, the frailest, shyest kid in class has to share a lab bench with Garou, when he's here that is.
The teachers are close to banging their heads against the wall or tearing their hair out. Jirou, your fellow class rep, is close to having a nervous breakdown, every Friday bringing him one step closer. That's why you've volunteered to take over the job of handing out the after school detention slips in homeroom on Friday's perilous mornings.
Everyone prefers it this way anyway. Jirou, a talented bureaucrat destined for a permanent desk job when he grows up, is the most efficient partner you've ever had when it comes to paperwork and organisation. He dots all the i's and crosses all the t's. He's even got the face for it. Pale, thin, his narrow eyes hidden behind slim glasses and wisps of glossy black hair. As talented as he is with a pen, people skills are not his forte. He hasn't yet figured out, like you, that being kind to is the best way to get people onside. He still firmly believes that constant correction and reminders of one's inadequacy are the best motivation for change. You smile, one day he might change. You hope so because underneath it all, he does really only want what's best. Even if it often results in more trouble than before.
"Good morning!" Ms. Kanzaki, your homeroom and geography teacher, walks in with her usual cheerful demeanour and armful of marking. Her hair is bouncing and her joie de vivre is indefatigable, no matter how many detention slips she brings with her.
Jirou hands her the class roll and she gives you the detention slips. Five. That's unusual. You flip through them. Oh, three are for Garou. That explains it.
Ms. Kanzaki is pretty easygoing and homeroom is usually filled with friendly chatter and your fellow students hurriedly trying to finish homework under Jirou's scowling glare.
You make your way to Hina and hand her the red slip. She takes it sheepishly from you, slightly embarrassed. You're on good terms with everyone in the class and it's awkward getting a detention from a friend. They wish they hadn't done whatever it is they did. Detention: non-regulation uniform.
"Sorry, [Your Name], I like, really didn't realise it would be a big deal you know!"
"It's ok," you smile at Hina, "just be careful next time. That neon-pink can really show through," you wink at her. You make it all so easy and painless.
"Ryoma," you hand him the slip. Detention: speaking inappropriately to a teacher. "You had one last week too."
He looks away guiltily. You're the nicest class rep he's ever had and here he's gone and done it again. "Yeah...I probably shouldn't've said..."
"Hey," you smile kindly at him, "as long as you aren't trying for a record of three next week." You elbow him in the shoulder like you're old mates.
"Yeah..." he chuckles. "I won't!"
And he really won't. Not for a while anyway.
Well, this is a surprise. Garou's actually here today. You make your way to his desk towards the back of the room. He's lounging back in his chair, head resting back on interlaced hands. He opens his eyes lazily as he feels your presence next to him.
Technically, you stand for everything Garou hates and does his best to rebel against. Rules. Routine. But goddamnit, you are just impossible to dislike with your perfectly regulation uniform, and your kind eyes and your neat little ponytail over your shoulder. Jirou, on the other hand...he's quite easy to hate. Fucking pencilpusher.
"You do love me on Fridays," Garou grins up at you, "don't you, Ms. Class Rep? Always comin' over here..."
This isn't your first rodeo. You know how to handle his type. You have nothing against this silver-haired delinquent. In fact, often you find him genuinely funny. You shouldn't, but you do.
"Of course!" You return the smile. "And every time you're not here I just cry and cry. I'm inconsolable."
"Alright. Give it to me."
"Detention," you place the first little red square on the desk, "sleeping in the baseball dugouts during class time. PE I'm guessing?"
"Probably," he shrugs. He's done it too many times to remember which class.
"Detention," the second red square, "damaging school property (writing inappropriate verse in Macbeth textbook in pen.)" You look at him quizzically. "What did you write?"
"I changed one of the speeches," he drawls. "The one that starts with 'Sex me here...'" He flashes you that roguish grin, waiting for your reaction.
"You mean 'UNsex me here...'" You correct him, unfazed.
"Yeah, whatever. Mine's better."
"Better than Shakespeare?"
"Yeah."
You're trying to suppress a laugh. You're also genuinely curious now. Maybe you could go into the literature storage cupboard and find it...
"Detention," the third and final slip, "biology. Huh," you turn it around. "No reason. What did you do?"
"Do you really want to know?" he leans forward, like he's about to tell you a secret.
"Actually, no probably not. If Mrs. Hara felt like she couldn't write it down, I probably don't," you say and hand him the last slip before giving him your confident class rep smile and going back to your desk to catch up with Tama.
You have to hand it to him though. What he lacks in attendance, he makes up for in creativity.