HIM

Numb

They say you get over the pain of losing someone eventually, but the pain caused by my brother's death will probably never go away. Kayden was the best brother you could have asked for and now he’s gone, ripped away from us by someone who has no soul. 

I’ve missed 3 weeks of school, and I don’t even care. I’m a straight A student so I'm sure I'd be able to catch up but my parent’s( Adrean and Cora) are forcing me to go to school. So here we are sitting in the car on the way to school where I know it’s going to get emotional.

I head to my locker as soon as I get to school, ignoring the eyes I know are on me. Immediately i’m greeted by my best friend Maria. “ Hey stranger, are - are you okay?” she asks quietly.” Of course I’m not okay, my brother was just murdered.” I say harshly. She recoiled at my harsh tone and I sigh,” I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just be - been really hard.” I say, voice breaking.

“ I know, any news?” she asks. 

“ No, It’s the same as always.” I say quietly, not really there anymore.

…

Knock- Knock! The knocks on the front door startled me. I got up and went to the door, my parents were in the kitchen arguing over what to eat for dinner. I open the door and there’s a police officer there.” Yes, can I help you?” I say, confused as to why he’s here.

“ Ma’am, are your parents here?” he asks seriously.

“ Yes, in the other room. Why don’t you come in and I’ll go get them.” I say already walking away.

I get my mom and dad and we head to the living room to the left of the front door, “ Hello, what’s this all about?” my mom asks kindly.

Ma’am I think you may want to sit down, all of you. It’s about your son, Kayden.” he said looking down. 

“ Oh no, did he get into trouble, Is he alright?” My mom asks curiously.

“ No ma’am, he’s not.” he said, finally looking up at us.

“ What do you mean he’s not alright?” I said, my heart racing. I was running through everything and anything that could’ve happened, but was coming empty.

“ Ma’am, I’m sorry to say this but, your son’s been - he’s been murdered.” He said sorrily. 

I heard a strangled scream as tears poured in my eyes, I think it came from me. My heart was breaking. He was saying something but I couldn’t understand a word he said. My mom was sobbing, screaming no over and over and over again. My dad was shaking his head in disbelief, tears streaming down his face. And for the first time, I saw my dad cry.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for this. I never thought this could happen to me, no one ever does. The officer finishes telling us everything and then he quietly excuses himself. The house is silent except for the loud sobbing.

…

I still remember that day. Like it’s embedded in my brain. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

“ Ellie, Ellie you there?’’ said Maria waving her hand in front of my face.

“ Huh, what?” I say shaken.

“ What happened? You just stopped talking and got this blank look on your face.” she says looking at me like i'm something that needs to be examined.

“ Yeah I'm fine, let’s just go to class ok.” I say already walking.

As I walk into English lit everyone turns to stare at me. “ Great.” I say under my breath as I head to a seat in the back. This Is why I didn’t want to come back to school, I knew I was going to be the new charity case, everybody coming up to me to say sorry about your loss like they actually care. I sigh and settle in my chair as the teacher walks into class getting started on explaining today’s work. 

Then he notices me and just stare’s, causing everyone to turn and look at me. It’s like he expected me to never come to school again. “ I’m fine.” I say, speaking up. “ Really, just please start already.” I say. He sees the desperate look on my face and begins teaching as I sink low in my seat and mentally prepare myself for the rest of the day.