DENSE

#3

We all sat in the dining table-
Me, Yue and Mrs. Hagiwara.

" Mommy, when na nga uuwi si kuya Kida?" Yue asked habang nakatingin pa rin sa kinakain niya.

Tumingin ako kay tita, also waiting for her answer.

"This or next weekend ata, finish niya lang daw finals nila" she answered.

Yue just nodded, so did I.

And the dinner time continued with tita asking about volleyball and academics.

Pagkatapos naming kumain, I insisted on washing the dishes to make myself useful.

Pumayag naman si tita after ng ilang ulit kong pangungulit sa kanya, pero dapat daw ay kasama siya.

"Kiani, anak."

Ramdam ko ang biglang pag bilis ng kabog ng dibdib ko dahil sa mga salitang iyon galing kay tita.

"You know naman that Koutsu isn't interested in relationships or friendships right now diba?" she asked me.

"Oo nga po eh, halatang halata"

We both laughed.

Tumigil si tita sa ginagawa niya, at bahagyang ngumiti saakin.

"Pero I would love to see him, my son falling in love. I don't mind if the person is a girl or boy. I just want to see him happy, masaya at malaya"

She sighed and smiled at me once again.

"Since, I have mostly been absent from his childhood " she added.

Yumuko siya at nagulat ako ng marinig ko siyang humikbi.

" 'My????"
I asked her, with worries.

"I've never saw him smile, in front of us, and I- I wasn't there for h-him when he needed me physically, I- I think I'm l-losing him"
She broke down in front of me.

I hugged her until she calmed down.

Nang kumalma na siya, tumingin uli siya sa akin at sinabi.

"Pero whenever he's with you, Kiani, I can see little Koutsu on him.
And since childhood, you were there for him..
Thank you for that. Thank you. Thank you for being born in this world, Kiani"

she smiled faintly at me as she wiped her tears from before.

Hindi ko na rin kinaya.

When I realized what I was doing. "Sorry po" I quickly said and wiped my tears.

"It's just that, no one ever said those words to me before po, and- and it feels nice"
I sobbed at niyakap naman akong mahigpit ni tita.

"You must really want to Yue to be happy po....my mother was once like that to me eh"

I whispered between the hug with a faint smile but she seemed like she heard it.

She pulled away from the hug, and said

"And I want you to be happy also"  and smiled after.

Yung pagkasabi niya, parang she is giving her blessings to me—

HAh ano na naman ang nasa isip mo Ki
and as I try to speak,

She teasingly smiled at me, and quickly fake gasped.

"I should check up on Kida" she patted my shoulder with a grin and tinawagan sa phone si Kuya Kida.

I went back to my work, still flustered, and finished it a minute after.

" 'My tapos na po!"

"Okay!! Thank you honey!"

Syempre, si tita yun, sino pa ba.
...

With that pumunta na nga ako sa kwarto ni Yue.

Hindi na ako kumatok at pumasok na agad ako. Hindi naman 'to nag lo- lock ng pintuan niya kapag nasa bahay nila ako eh.

Pagpasok ko, nakita ko nilabas ni Yue yung Tv niya galing sa compartment nito.

Yue's personal TV is usually hidden.
Since, noong bata kasi kami, hilig naming manood ng mga horror movies together.

And Isang beses, pinanood namin yung
"The Ring" na Japanese version, kaya mas nakakatakot, para saamin.

Sa huli, sa sobrang takot namin, na traumatized kami.
Kaya tinatago noon palagi ni Yue yung Tv niya kapag pumupunta ako dito.

Pero nga, dahil siguro nagbibinata na kami, nawawala na rin yung trauma namin dun.