dancing joyfully with a broken heart.

i feel nothing and everything

it has been 2 weeks since I wanted to start posting.
I had the desire but I wasn't feeling ready enough, in a good mood enough, best version of myself enough, determined enough...
But while I was feeling all those things, the earth didn't stop turning, the sun was still waking up and the moon was still shining.
Therefore, why should I put my desires on a pause because I want to reach a version of me that might exist in the future.
Are my words a waste right now because I'm not my best self ? Is my voice useless because I'm not my best self ?
What my « best self » even is ?
Does it really exists ? Or is it simply a way for me to escape how imperfect and lost I am right now ?

I don't want to only share with others when I'm at my best.
I want to share the beautiful, the ugly, the amazing, the miserable, the what could be, the what is, the storm, the calm water, the fears...

HUMANITY.

so here I am,

broken and beautiful, nothing and everything, hopeful and hopeless, loving and betrayed, admirable and miserable, sparkling and denying, confident and anxious,
ready enough,

dancing joyfully with a broken heart.

caelina 🤍