For you

Happiness

People said that happiness comes from our heart and thought, but what if i actually need something from someone to make me happy? I know that to enjoy our life, then we can just focus on what we are doing, do our hobbies, go on a holiday, play games, etc. Yes, i can enjoy myself with all of that without a problem, i'm also believe that happiness will come when you actually generate it or find it within yourself. For me though, i really, really need someone, a girl, to be my girlfriend. it wouldn't be easy, but it's not impossible either, what i really need to do is, well, try and give it a chance. But everything wouldn't get easier when this pandemic is still happening, i don't really know what to do to, let say, approach a girl during the pandemic. You expect me to just somehow chat a girl, get along, and then ask her to be my girlfriend? nah, definitely no. I've tried that, even though it worked, but the feeling isn't just the same. I would like to approach someone in real life, like literally meeting in person, seeing each other's faces, smiling, laughing, talking, and hopefully somehow getting along without a problem. People probably think that boys will always think about sex in the first place, but i'm sure, more than half of us, will definitely not aiming for that. All i want, really is, is actually affection, caring, actual love, and making memories together. Imagining myself cuddling with the girl that i like, the girl that i care, the girl that i'm willing to sacrifice my time to be with her. I really want someone, to just understand my feeling by sharing it, have a nice conversation, express our thought, and not feeling shame or awkward about what we think about each other. A girl touch will definitely affects me, a lot, like i never, ever feel a touch of a girl, other than my family member of couse. Gentle touch while we're cuddling, playing together, dating, or sleeping, will be the most amazing thing that i'll experience so far, because i've never actually felt one. I know that i'm not alone, many boys, or maybe even girls, actually imagining themself in their mind, that they'll be in a relationship with someone that they really love, and will never be separated by anything but death. I don't ask for many things, the thing that i asked is thought by many people, so many that i believe the internet is the good place for you, if you're one of us, to spill it and feel better, even thought you'd probably never know who are these people who listened to you. Again, i just want a girlfriend, she will be one of many sources of happiness for me, 100% sure. I don't need sex, i don't really want to do something that you probably think when you think about a couple. It's not porn, you can't just do that without actually build up to it, and i think i'd probably enjoy more of the build up itself. Affection could be the key to how i'll find my happiness, couldn't ask more than that right now. Everything around me it's just depressing, at any level, i know my obligation as a student needs to carry on, but of course as you're already know, lots of stress and pressure is not good, logically. Because of that, sharing my problem, or at least telling them that i have a problem, will be a good thing for me, as far as i thought though, especially to a girl, my girlfriend. Many things i've experienced, but to this day, i somehow found myself still stuck in a hole, where the exit is obvious, but somehow i didn't really want to leave, because i know, i'll probably ended up here again. It would be my pleasure, to share this with you, anyone who read this. I don't know where it's going to end up, or whom going to understand it, but i thank you for the time that you have passed to understand what i'm going through. Happiness will comes out of me, surely, it's just a matter of time, but everything would be better, if i have someone, a girlfriend, to share with, and going through all of this together, loved by one, and forever.