Not Ready To Let Go

I Miss You

I had ruined it all, I always seem to do that. But i messed up big time, i had never seen her mum cry like that. Tears that flooded the emptiness of my kitchen. I never knew that what i did would have consequences. 4 days ago my best friend and I had an argument, We had never had an argument so big like that before..she was suicidal and had a lot of failed attempts. She had gone away to Scotland for a week long trip. Me as her best friend tried to check up on her to make sure she was okay, little did i know what I was doing just made it worse.

Two days after the argument, She decided to give me the silent treatment. I thought the eventually she would get bored and talk to me..little did i know she wasn't giving me the silent treatment..she has passed. she was 14, She hung herself all because of me. I feel like a terrible person, Because of that argument...she did it, and this time she wasn't joking. Her funeral was last Thursday, I was empty. I had no emotion, I was still trying to take in what had happened and that it was all my fault, her mum was telling me about how much she talked about me...a tear rolled down my pale cheek.

And there she was, her spirit. It stood right in front of me the night of the funeral after the ceremony, i had just woken up from a bad dream and i open my eyes and her spirit is there. I rubbed my eyes as I heard it say; "I miss you". I thought about it for days, i couldn't get my mind of it.

Days passed and all I could think about was that, it flooded my mind with questions. I missed her too, I had the chance to save our friendship but I let it all go, all the memories, then she passed..my best friend. She was like a sister to me and i loved her with all my heart but i was stupid...and then I realized not only did I lose my bestfriend but I also lost myself.