Nothing or Everything.

1

shit shit shit.
i'm running late for school. again.
my parent's are at work. my brother's sound asleep, and i feel too guilty waking him up, so my only option is the bus.

forcing my shoes on and grabbing my bag, i take a quick mental check to make sure i have everything and shut the door behind me. it's fucking cold as fuck.

i read the time on my phone. 8:01am
FUCK. immediately i start dashing down my road, the cold wind brushed past my cheeks and i could feel looks from every white mum about to drive their kids to school.

but i couldn't care less. i could not be late to my psychology class again.
thank god i made it just in time because next thing i know, i see the bus appear from the corner of my eyes as i was catching my breath.

i hopped on, payed for my ticket and turned around to find a seat but-
"aliyah!" my friend called over. she was sat all the way at the back, as expected, and motioning me to come.

i smiled, making my way towards her and dismissing all looks we got from other people on the bus.

"how come you're on this bus today, nova?" i asked as i sat down next to her. usually we take the same bus home but she always takes a different one to school.

"cos the other bus is always late and it's too cold to be waiting", she replied, briefly looking up from her phone, "also you know apparently there's a new guy in our year"

i frowned, "really? how do you know? school hasn't even started yet."

"well sharon was posting about him on snapchat this morning. and apparently he's hot."

i scoffed. today's monday and girls are already making a big deal out of him it seems.

"what does he look like?" i asked out of curiosity, wanting to know which specific guy to look out for.

"i don't know, she didn't even say what race he is" she replied, checking her phone again.

"well i guess we'll have know when we see who the new hottie is" i chuckled, looking back out the window of our bus.

soon enough, we arrived at our stop and got off. walking in through the building, i could see we were just on time for lesson judging by how crowded the main foyer was. people walking in groups to their classes upstairs, or just coming outside canteen and about to head off to their class.

"oh look, there's your bestfriend ollie" nova giggled, nudging me to his direction. of course he was walking alongside his girl friends.

fuck. we made direct eye contact.

"fuck you naya. i'm going to psychology without you-" as if my mood hadn't just done a 180 after seeing a rat, i had to go and bump into another person.

"oh shit- i'm sorry- fuck are you okay?" i panicked, backing up. but apparently i backed up too much to the point i tripped on my platform shoes and was about to fall.

on my back. great.

i braced myself for impact but, their hand reached out to grab me just in time. it was a guy.

everything happened so abruptly in one second, and i was still catching my balance, but he was attractive. asian. and so tall. what the hell.

but he also looked pissed. shit.

"sorry. i wasn't looking where i was going properly," i spoke in a discreet, and kinda awkward, tone. he just continued to stare down at me.

it wasn't until he just walked off without a response that i realised people were looking our way.

"naya...i told you to tell me if i was being too loud!" i whisper-screamed at her through my teeth whilst smiling at the awkward crowd i made on accident.

half of them were amused and laughing, the other couldn't care less and was irritated by the disruption i caused.

nova kept laughing. turns out she was laughing this whole time under her breath and watching the scene unfold with front row seats.

embarrassed, ashamed, planning my funeral expenses and mentally writing my will, i speed walked out of there. with nova following behind of course.

i took one last glance back at the foyer, and people had began to scatter. but tell me why the fuck i made a second eye contact with him again. turns out he was part of the crowd watching too.

i rolled my eyes as we walked up the stairs. just looking at the rat made my mood sour again.

"wasn't that guy so peng? who was he?" naya asked beside me. i continued airing her, as a joke of course.

"oh cmon girl it wasn't that deep, it was just funny how you kept screaming", she laughed, "and he looked like he was telling you to shut up"

"oh my god stop! you're making it worse" i cringed back at the thought, slouching down in my seat in defeat.

"finally you're talking to me"

"well how can i not, when we always talk in class. you're lucky miss is gone right now"

"wait what happened? which guy you talking about?" mary asked beside me, "is it the new guy everyone's going on about?"

oh fuck.

"errr, he's tall. and asian-"

"yep that's him"

oh fuck x 2.

my face dropped. nova started patting my shoulder, "there there it's okay. everyone's made a scene first thing in the morning with a new guy-"

"naya shut up! for fucks saaaake" i cried, covering my head on the table and only making her laugh in response as she began telling the story to mary.

now they were both laughing.

"well at least you can say you made the first move on him. like physically innit?"

i glared at her.

"wait wait who's this guy? cmon tell us" ethan and kyle demanded from across the row. i turned back around to look at them.

"why do you guys need to know? just mind-"

"he's asian" mary blurted out.

"eh?? he's not black?!" ethan gasped.

"finally our species have been saved from this girl!" kyle added on.

"are you guys done?? just shut your traps! i told you it's not just black guys-"

"hold on, are you saying there's something wrong with us? so you hate black guys?" they questioned playfully.

i continued glaring at them in silence, "i didn't say that-"

"so you fetishise us blackies? what is wrong with you??"

"oh my god-" i exasperated, completely giving up as they burst out laughing. nova and mary also joined them.

but then as if on cue, ms cile came back into the room and we all returned back to silence. this woman would turn into a demon whenever we became loud.

we carried on working for the next couple of minutes until there was a sudden knock at the door.

"enter" ms cile said. another teacher with a blue lanyard opened the door.

"hi miss, can i quickly borrow raya for a second?"