"You can't beat me. I'm the genius here, remember?" Tony reminded his birdbrained friend as they tried to argue that white chocolate is better than milk chocolate.
"If we took a poll, I would guess more than 75% of people like chocolate better than that vanilla cream garbage."
"You're on. I will prove my point," Clint says before walking away. Tony rolled his eyes and continued to sip his coffee. He decided it must be a dad thing to make bad decisions and even worse puns.
"Sir, someone is hack- ng - boy - shutting me - downnn..." F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice came from the ceiling, distorting before fading out. He put his coffee down and sat up straighter.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y?" He asked into the silence that followed, hoping it was just a glitch. Although he should know better. He made her, she doesn't 'glitch'.
He shot up when she didn't respond for a three count and rushed to the security room. Everything looked in order, nothing wrong. He just sighed and went to his lab where he looked closer at the building's interface.
He tinkered with her for a while, running a scan on his computer to search for any viruses that might have shut her down. He looked up when he heard a crash from nearby.
He ran into the living room and looked around. he could have sworn it came from in here. He slowly walked to the kitchen, quietly activating the nanotech for his repulsor in case he needed to blast someone.
What he found was not at all what he was suspecting, quite the opposite actually.
There was a small elfish-looking boy (maybe 14, 15?), crouching by the open freezer, stuffing as many ice cream boxes down his leather tool belt as possible. He was completely raiding the freezer, now moving on to frozen tacos, ice pops, frozen chicken, and actual ice.
Tony stood there, watching in amazement and confusion as this small Latino boy stuffed all their freezer food into his toolbelt. He briefly pondered how that could be possible, but that wasn't the most pressing problem at the moment.
"Ahem," he said, clearing his throat. The boy hesitated, then turned with a crooked smile that made Tony a little scared.
"Seriously? I thought I hacked your computer lady, how d'you find me?" He asked it more out of curiosity and annoyance than fear, stuffing his hands in his trousers casually.
"There was a loud- you know what that's not the point. You obviously were the one who disabled F.R.I.D.A.Y, which should be impossible, by the way, so tell me; who sent you?" he asked, pulling his best intimidating glare.
The guy chuckled nervously, avoiding the glowing repulsor in his face. It didn't stop him from turning his back on Tony and snapping a selfie with the empty refrigerator. He seemed to have the confidence of a guy who was smart (and crazy) enough to beat him, get away, and make it look like he knocked himself out.
The kid rolled his eyes and stood up, only reaching about 5 and a half feet tall.
"Look man, I'm not stealing anything of importance, as you've pointed out. I'm only here on a dare and if I don't get back before sundown I'm gonna have to fight Percy and trust me, that won't be pretty," the guy said, looking down at his odd watch.
A dare, huh? He must have some seriously crazy friends. Tony had to admit it was a very intricate dare, especially for a kid. Though, who was he to judge; it had worked.
"Alright kid. Explain," he said with his nano glove still up, making the kid roll his eyes again.
"I'm not a kid. I'm 17," he grumbled as they walk over to the couch. Teenagers. Even having been one himself, Tony still believed them to be evil incarcerated, from the few experiences he's had with them as an adult.
He hadn't finished his coffee and was running on little to no sleep. he sat down, sipping his hot coffee again (thank god for thermos cups), and gestured for the kid to sit down too. He remained standing.
"So...Do you want an awesome modified truth or a blatant lie?" he asked with a smirk as he leaned against the couch on his forearms.
"Ok funny guy, just tell me why you broke in here, why you stole my ice pops, and how you hacked my AI," He said.
He sighed. "Well my friends and I were playing truth or dare because Hazel had never played A lot of funny stuff happened, Jason got his hair dyed pink, Annabeth had to kiss a fish, and Percy had to steal Mr. D's diet coke. I'm honestly surprised he's still not a dolphin..." he trailed off, thinking. Tony just looked at the kid in confusion.
"Sorry, ADHD. Perks of being brilliantly good at everything. Anyways, they dared me to find the hardest building to hack in the city and steal their entire freezer before sundown, or let Percy beat me in a fight. Not that I couldn't beat him. Probably," he continued, a crooked smile painted shamelessly on his face.
"And F.R.I.D.A.Y? How did you hack her," He asked, wondering how a 17-year-old hacked his AI.
"Oh, that part was easy. It was just some coding. And my Festus chip helped get past your dummy server," he said casually but proudly holding up a small metal chip in the shape of a cartoon dragon head.
"I'm not buying it. Who sent you, Hydra?" he asked again, and the kid just shook his head.
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but it was just a stupid dare. Can I go now?" he sounded like a kid asking to be excused from the dinner table. Not that Tony would have any experience with that. (A/N sorry, dark humor)
"Are you an engineering student? Or a mechanic?" he asked, looking at the toolbelt and oil stains on his chin.
"I'm a genius, actually. I have many titles: Taco Chef, Bad boy supreme, Leo Michizzle Valdez, Commander of the Argo II. So both, all," he said serious and dramatic. When I looked up he wasn't even trying to hold back a smirk as he stood up straight, stretching. "Well, this was a lovely chat. I'd love to continue seeing you so confused that anyone besides yourself is smart, but I have my own idiots to get back to. And I've been dying to test out my new invention. Adios!" he said, running to the nearest window.
Tony stood as Leo opened it, sending him a final salute before falling out backward in a T-pose.
"Kid!" he yelled, running to the open window to hopefully catch the idiot who just jumped. Sh*t. Sh*t sh*t sh*t. Please don't die before I can save you, you insane teenager.
He reached the window, only slightly out of breath, and looked down. But no one was there.
"Whooo!" His head whipped towards the happy sound and found a metal-clad figure soaring over the rooftops. Too low to be a plane, too big to be a drone. Could it be...?
"Kid?" he said in wonder, and even from here, Tony could see Leo's manic grin as he glanced back. He twisted, gliding upside down with his back to the ground.
"See ya sucker!" he yelled before nose-diving behind a tall building 40 feet away.
Clint walked in, looking defeated.
"I took a poll. You only won by... a little. 30%. But that's not the point, it was a close race," he said grumpily until he saw Tony's face.
"Uh, what happened while I was gone? Tony. Why are you standing by an open window? Don't jump. Or fall," he said seriously.
"I can't believe the kid just flew away," he said in disbelief.
"Um, yeah I still don't know what's going on, but how about you don't stand distractedly by an open window and come sit down." He nodded slowly, sitting down on the couch.
He sipped his coffee.
Tony has been humbled by a rare few. And then this 17-year old hacks him on a dare. A kid. And he acted like it was no big deal that he hacked one of, if not the most advanced AI in the world and stole their ice cream.
Well, for all he know the kid had before. How would he know? If no one was around and F.R.I.D.A.Y was deactivated...
Clint shook his shoulder and out of his daze, "Hey, you alright?" he asked again.
"Yeah, fine. F.R.I.D.A.Y?"
"Yes sir?" she answers, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Find everything you can on one Leo Valdez."
YOU ARE READING
It's Genius, Actually
FanfictionJust a fun little story I finished a while ago. It started out as a one shot where Leo raided Tony's freezer on a dare, you know, writing practice and all that. But I ended up making it into more of a wild story that in all honestly doesn't make muc...