Love Me Stage Left; Soonhoon

06

6 FEBRUARY

THE FIRST SATURDAY of February marks their first day of February break, and Jihoon has full intent to not waste the next week screwing around the whole time – he has assignments, tests to prep for, project deadlines, and the godforsaken play (which is slowly, bit by bit, driving him crazy) to work on. Normally, he would remind himself not to get so lost in the business of being stage director; it isn't Broadway after all, and he can only be expected to do so much – but his unbridled sense of perfectionism and the looming threat of the drama department's complete shut-down has him tearing his hair out over the matter.

It wasn't so bad, until he remembered that the drama department itself is the sole source of income for a sizable group of teachers at their school. It wasn't so bad until he realized how important this actually is for a lot of people.

In the past, signing up for stage director was just a fun extracurricular he could tack on to his CV, some extra time spent with his best friends after school. But this year it's like, an actual big deal. State officials coming – two strange, middle-aged men who probably don't give a shit about theatre or even their own jobs coming to their school to inspect whether or not the drama department should be shut down entirely. Analyzing ticket prices, the total amount sold, how profitable the night is, how many seats are filled or left empty – all this, left in the hands of some guys who probably don't even turn up to their own kids' soccer matches. Jihoon's own pessimism tells him that it might not even matter how hard he works.

At best, it would be a couple of disappointed teenagers who have to opt for some other hobby to keep them busy; at worst, it's teachers losing their jobs and a significant amount of funding that the school would usually try to funnel into bettering itself – gone.

So Jihoon doesn't think about this like it's some little back-end neighborhood play, he treats it like it is Broadway, and throws himself into it more than ever. But it's hard, when all he can think of, day and night, is Soonyoung.

It's obsessive and, honestly, concerning. The tiniest things in the world can make or break him; Soonyoung's bare feet in Jihoon's bathroom, Soonyoung hanging up Jihoon's towel before staying the night. Heartbreaking smile. Looking at someone else, laughing at someone else's joke – a straight, swift punch to the gut that makes no logical sense at all.

Multiple times Jihoon thinks of retrying his initial (failed) attempt at ignoring Soonyoung, but he knows that it would only make him feel worse. Even more than that, he thinks of their kiss, wishes desperately to relive it again and again, sincere touches and conspicuous glances, until it all blends together into a confusing muddle of what does he want from me?

When Soonyoung shows up at Jihoon's front door that afternoon, script in hand and goofy smile resting easily on his face, he says, "I was thinking we could go practice in the park."

"Are you joking? It's February, I'm not freezing my ass off in some park while you practice your dance moves."

"Please," Soonyoung whines, drawing out the word. Jihoon arches one brow at him. "It's not even that cold! If you bring your coat you can barely feel it, and I'm tired of being cooped up in your room."

"We could always go to your house."

"I don't want to be cooped up in my room either!"

"You're going to catch a cold, and then what? Miss rehearsals while you recover? All because you wanted to read your lines to a bunch of trees."

"The weather is actually nice today, it's beautiful out – look at the sun! Come on, please? I'll buy you hot chocolate after."

Jihoon doesn't want to give in, tells himself again and again not to, but he knows he's a sucker for making Soonyoung happy. It's what he does: goes against his own grain, does things that he normally would never agree to, budges when he would never budge for anyone else, because he knows that whatever smile he gets in result will be worth it. He chases Soonyoung's affection like a dog chases a ball. He's willing to make himself miserable if it means Soonyoung won't be. Jeonghan would tell him that that's just being in love, and Jihoon knows it too well.