This is for all you Smurf Lovers. My sister told me to write a letter to Papa Smurf, so I did. Maybe he'll respond? Who knows?
Rue Varron
Dear Papa Smurf,
I love your blue pirmary hue. I wish I could be blue too. I know your real, but many say you're not. Question though, really, what color do you go when you're choke? Is it purple? I'd love to be purple! OH, another question, do you really kill people who don't believe in you? Cuz my next door neighbor said you were a fraud made up by some pedo.
I didn't believe her, of course. You're the only one for me. Whenever I look at another guy I see your handsome blue face. But I think you should lose the beard and red hat. It isn't really becoming. Do you bleed blue? I bleed red. I checked the other day because I wanted to see if I bled blue because I want to bleed a darkish hue!
By the way, how did Gargamel find out about you, if no one can find you? Is it true that there is a war between you and the Keebler Elves? I want a Keebler Elf so I can have free cookies that are freshly baked from in a tree! :D
Is there a Smurf Princess? Cuz if there is, wouldn't that mean she's your daughter? I thought I was your one and only true love.... *Take a ten minute break, I'm crying* Ok, I'm back. I just want you to know I'll always love you even though you cheated on me. I'm too stupid to go after another man anyway. Maybe we can throw a pity party together? I'll capture a Keebler Elf to bake cookies for it.
Well I must go,
Your Lover,
R Smurf <3
