Broken

Prologue

January 11th 2012

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember how cold and dreary it was outside. I remember having this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, the kind of feeling you get when you roll off the steepest part of a rollercoaster. I remember lying in my bed, with the covers over my head, and silently sobbing into my pillow. I had never felt this way before. The feeling of hopelessness that was weighing down on my heart was too much to bear. I had to occupy myself with something. I had to keep my mind busy. But, no matter what I did my mind always came back to him.

Simple everyday things would trigger my sweet and sacred memories. Sights, tastes, smells... it was almost like I could never escape him. He would forever be in my mind, keeping hold of my peace of mind until I let it go. I couldn't let go. With every fiber in my being I had to keep a grip on what ever shred of reality I had left. My sanity was at stake here. If I were to let go, I realized, that he would win. He would have control over me. He would see how vulnerable I am. He would see my soft underbelly, and he would lunge right at  it. He had already broken my heart... so what else was there for him to destroy? Nothing but my dignity and pride. But I could feel with every hour passing, with every tear falling and with every beautiful memory flooding back into my mind, that my pride and dignity were soon to become like my heart... broken.