Pretend for me. [SLOW UPDATES]

birthdays.

Roxanne Winters. That name-- the beginning of my very end. It was her birthday today; but if only... If only she lived to celebrate it.

Still. No, I wasn't filled with sympathy. I didn't feel bad, I couldn't even feel sad, but I desperately wanted to. Dear God, I wish I could, I loved her so much- I did. I thought she was my best friend, I thought she was my sister, I thought she was different-- but she wasn't, she was- she was the devil in disguise, or perhaps I made her the devil and I didn't even realize it...

I loved her when she was alive but the very moment she died, I realized my hate for her, and no it wasn't some unhealthy way of mourning her, Christ! I couldn't even bring myself to mourn her- She made me like this, she made me this way.

I couldn't feel emotions anymore, I had to sit a moment to access exactly what I was feeling... If I was feeling at all, or I was misinterpreting it all. Roxy made me this way now. She made me quiet in my mind, I have never witnessed my mind so empty of thoughts, so silent and far away from reality, so disassociated from everything. Even my soul, even my spirit, I was the perfect epitome of the living corpse.

My eyes didn't leave the big framed picture of the celebrant today, her smile, her beautiful jade green eyes, her beautiful long blonde, her skin so pale... She looked like an angel, but a question that couldn't leave me was 'When did she become a fallen one?'

"Baby?" A voice I knew too well interrupted my peace, making me flinch on impulse, the glass of wine I had at hand almost fell infact.

"Please, not now Alex." I said immediately I turned around, meeting his hazel eyes-- at this point I wasn't even surprised that the most beautiful people were infact the monsters, it was only surprising how fate made me their pawn all the time.

He rolled his eyes this time, before peering into the room. I wasn't home, and no I wasn't in his home either. It was supposed to be Roxy's birthday today and her mother last desire after her burial was for us to celebrate her birthday and right now we were in some large expensive suite in a magnificent five-star hotel, which of course this boyfriend of mine rented for the night for her celebration. But I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be anywhere close to him either-- I just wanted to go home to momma.

He leaned closer as he dropped the cup of whiskey to the table I stood beside, he reeked of alcohol, and somehow I could tell he was drunk already. Idiot. "You said to give you space and I did Jade, it's time for the whole world to fucking see that we're couples. Three long months was enough time for you to prepare now wasn't it?" He said as I felt his hands on my waist, caging me in slowly and sensually and I- good God, I only wanted to spit on him and run away to bathe the feel of him off me.

"We agreed all this would start when school resumes." I argued back, stylishly getting his hands off me to not cause any attention on us, because as much as it was a busy room with people partying and dining. Everywhere Alex Hunter was, eyes followed him, He was like a god and I didn't even blame them. He had that effect on anyone around-- just not me anymore.

"School resumes tomorrow Jade, there's no difference." He answered, snatching my glass from my hand to drop it on the same table. Softly, I gasped.

"Dance with me." He ordered with a smile I knew too well, one that told me to pretend, that told me to feign some happiness. Before I could even reject, Alex dragged me into the dancefloor already and Jesus, I wished for the grounds to swallow me up entirely. Nobody knew me, No one knew who Jade Johnson was, but now he was putting me on the spotlight, and he'd be doing more of that starting from tomorrow.

"I can't dance Alex." I said, frustrated.

"I'll teach you." He argued back, as he swayed us to the sound of the music.