Subconscious

Chapter 5: Why The Lies?

So it turned out I wasn't a huge burden and very important to the leader - I guessed it was TIG (The Intimidating Guy) - and as I kept resisting the sleep and fighting, they would tell me important facts and figures to keep me sane and not fight them. Now I may have lost my memory but I had this feeling that these assholes were lying. So I kicked the guy that spoke to me where the sun doesn't shine and ran: no way was I letting these idiots keep me captor. I didn't know where I was going and I desperately needed answers so I turned back and acted like the lost and confused soul they wanted me to be. At first I thought it was wise, but now I'm facing the consequences.

* * *

Fuck this. Fuck it all. I want to smash my head against a wall. How could I have fallen into this stupid trap, after everything I've been through, shouldn't I have known better? It seems not because I am currently on a stretcher being taken from the ICU to a normal but private room, thank god. Of course they wouldn't give me such important information simply. Of course it was all a trap to see if I was still naive and dumb. Guess I just proved them right.

Shit! Zainab! What's happening to her now she must be worried because I haven't been home in 3 days. I've got to send her a t-txt (a text that can only be sent between immediate family through the brain) to assure her that I'm not kidnapped again and that I should be coming home within 2 days. I'm still angry that I fell for one of their traps again. It just so happened that the library I was asked to go to to meet people who had useful information from my past was abandoned and they hacked into it's website so I would go and think they wouldn't hurt me if there were lots of witnesses. But of course they used the old techniques for catching me like chloroform instead of distant-hypnotism which is what I didn't expect and what let my guard down. After drugging me, they dragged me into the library and recorded the torture they used on me on tape then leaving it near me on self-destruct so after I watch what I went through, the camera will explode in my hands which wasn't very pleasant I assure you which is why I fainted again. Then woke up because of smelling salts under my nose in an ambulance. I'm still disgusted by the bruises on my arms, legs, stomach and face to write about it even if my stupid therapist said writing every detail of my life could help. Screw him he doesn't know anything I've been through because per-lease, why should I trust someone who could so easily be a spy? Zainab just replied to my t-txt but I know something's wrong. She would never reply, " Oh mom are you okay i was so worried?" Never. She knows how much I hate the pity and how i'll tell her everything when the time is right. I plead with my doctor to let me out early because I fear for my daughter; I didn't tell her the last bit she'd just interfere and delay me or say I must be mistaken. Thankfully, she nods and I move to get up when she pulls me down and inspects the lump on my lower leg. " Um, doc, what's wrong, I've had it there for ages and you surely would've noticed it?" I inquire. Doc. Martinez inclines for me to sit up then shakes and nods her head simultaneously. " Sorry Ms. Maymoon -" she begins but I cut her off.

"Please, call me Lara." She shakes her head and continues.

"Ms- I mean Lara you're right; I have noticed it before but I haven't seen it. This isn't an ordinary lump or bruise, it's permanent and self-destructive. It contains something-"

* * *

They beat me. Like beat me so much I just stopped protesting and just closed my eyes and winced, waiting for my life to flash before my eyes before I die. Yet, that didn't happen. When I was on the verge of passing out, they stopped and I opened my eyes to see a bulky man that i'd never seen before come closer with a whip in his hand. He whipped me on my stomach really fiercely and that caused my pissing problem because he whipped me many times on the same place that the scar only began to fade 11 years later. Began to fade. The strange thing is TIG wasn't there so I expected him to not want to hurt me. I was wrong but I only found out when it was too late.

After the beating - that I guessed was because I tried to run from them- I was left on the floor in the adjacent room (where was I anyway?) to dry my silent tears and gather my wits. Just as I was about to kick the stupid wall out of frustration, he entered. Wincing, he approached me with a guilty expression and murmured, "I told them to bring you to me not to kill your soul then let me see you. I'm really-" I held my hand out.

"Don't. I've had enough with the lies okay? You're not sorry and I just want answers." I stared hard at his chocolatey-brown eyes with a pleading look in my - I didn't even remember what colour eyes I had, damnit they hadn't given me a mirror. Just a dirty bucket, stained and patched old clothes and a packet of sanitary pads. He cleared his throat then sat at the edge of the room and gestured for me to sit too. "Your name is-"

"No, I already know that. Are you being dumb on purpose? Because I really am not in the mood. I want vitals like how long have I been here? Where is 'here'?" I fumed.

" Right. Okay. Um, something happened to you when w- I mean you were 15. Something real bad. No please don't interrupt me I know you're angry but this is serious. Anyway these drunk people set fire to a house you were illegally lodging in-" This was too much to take in so I grilled him about it.

" Excuse me? If anything's illegal it's you keeping me captive." I breathed. " I have no idea what kind of shitty life you lead but why do you need me captive? What's the point? What will you gain?"

He let out an exasperated sigh then smiled. I thought, is this dude bipolar or something? He proceeded to explain," That's 5 questions." he said in a voice too chirpy. 

"I don't fucking care how many questions I ask so long as I get the answers to them. I won't interrupt you anymore if you don't give me shit loads of lies. Okay? Just one more thing: why? Why do you keep lying to me, why provide me with shit loads, why not come straight out with the truth? " I begged. His mouth moved to form out silent words but I can't lipread. It's like he was saying a prayer of some sort. He looked up at the dirty ceiling then back down at me again. "Fine. What I said about the fire and the illegal lodging is true. I'm your age and at that time, I got a text saying my cousin was in grave danger and to go to your location. So I went and saw my cousin -he's a guy- pulling you out of a burning house with you unconscious and having a huge bleeding gash on the side of your head. Let's just say that I'm not good with blood so I fainted on the spot ad woke up in another state in America. All three of us were in San Diego Hospital but I was slumped across a few waiting seats outside the ICU with my cousin on the floor. You were in the room. That alone was 4 years ago an-"

"Hold on a second. 4 years ago? 4 FRICKING YEARS AGO?! WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON?!? WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE AM I AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO ME FOR 4 YEARS???!! You know what, I'm outta here." I announced getting up and power walking to the door. A hand grabbed my arm and yanked me back with force. I looked to see these huge biceps squeezing my arm. It was beginning to hurt now because TIG was holding my arm with such force I felt myself slowly slipping out. It seemed he realised it too because a shocked expression flew across his face and he loosened his arm only slightly but didn't let me go. Then when I closed my eyes and let unconsciousness take over, he let go of my arm to support me back up. I rubbed my arm then stared at his eyes. "Thank you," I barely managed to whisper before going all Hulk on him.

A/N: I know I'm so horrible and inconsiderate for making you wait that long. It's just I'm such an unfaithful writer because when I go on Wattpad on intentions of finishing my story, I end up reading. God I'm such a bookworm and I hope you forgive me!