Immortal

22. Scraps and Trinket

I couldn't fully process the peace a place like Silvas produced. Survival skills were passed down from one person to another, here no one was left at a disadvantage. Information was shared, and they had a willpower to live independently from the oppressive system I had grown all too accustomed too. I stared at my space from the doorway. A place Finn had just been standing in. I took me until she had left the room to realize that I didn't belong here. I was impostor to these people. I had come here only to learn skills. To take advantage of their lively hood for my own personal gain. I didn't expect what I found. I considered leaving, abandoning the district of Silvas. Although, now that I knew about it and the way it worked it was hard to leave.

This information put me at risk. Almost all information I had was a risk. Which meant, if I left they'd come after me either to drag me back or find a way to permanently silence me. I leaned against the doorway regretting my choice to come here. Once again, I realized I should have followed my brothers wisdom. It was too late to back out now. I took a deep breath in my moment of solitude, and turned away from the room toward the outdoors.

I had every opportunity to leave. This was my chance to get out. The point to bail from the infamous Silvas. "Sam." Finn's voice hit me in a sharp unexpected manner. The same stir pulled at something inside me. I wondered how long she'd been standing in the hall. How long had she been silently watching? "Hm." Is the only response I could muster. I turned to face her, she stared at me intently. I could have sworn I had heard her exit the dwelling. "You look like you're regretting your choice." She stated. Her words surprised me, our eyes met after a pause. I felt exposed but I knew there was no possible way she could know I was regretting my choice. My face was blank, there was nothing that could give me away.

"What?" I tried to act like she was wrong. I put disbelief into my tone. I bluffed like she had misread me. Her expression only became frown. "Don't play stupid." Once again her tone stabbed at me. How could she read me so easily. "Everyone has regrets, just haven't figured out yours yet." Her tone was strained for a small fraction of a moment and then she cleared her throat. "You're not thinking of leaving are you?" Something about how she phrased that sentence seemed slightly pained. I wasn't sure she even noticed the tone she used. She was still looking me in the eyes.

Something tugged at me again. A feeling I couldn't ignore, a flutter that grew in my chest. Something I had to force myself to ignore. I didn't want to lie. I didn't know why, but I couldn't lie to her. I had absolutely no trouble lying to anyone else in this camp. Yet, the moment came to cough up some kind of half assed lie to Finn, and I couldn't do it. "Not yet." I answered honestly. I saw her eyes shake slightly and I wanted to know why. Why did she look like I had punched her.

Why did that expression bother me so much? Why was there a flutter in my chest? Why couldn't I bring myself to lie to her? How could she read me like an open book? I grit my teeth feeling irritation set in, I saw her expression fall. Something about it bothered me more than anything else that had already passed. I didn't like seeing her upset.

"How." I interjected breaking the silence that was settling around us. "How what?" I could hear annoyance in her voice. "How did you know I was having regrets." My voice was softer now. "Your eyes, gave you away." And I felt confused. I hadn't revealed a thing in them. I didn't understand but somehow she knew. "Give Silvas a chance." Finn vouched for her district almost desperate for me to stay.
She didn't say anything else, she only turned and ran out of the dwelling.

I didn't see much of Finn after that. Jala seemed to melt into the hole her absence created. I left the dwelling, seeking something to do. I knew being the rookie outsider meant I would be on probation everyone would be hesitant on trusting me. It's what I expected, but that was nothing at all like what occurred. Everyone was straightforward and open, they had nothing to hide. I was thrown into doing maintenance on gadgets. Or thats what I understood from Jala who was half here half absentminded. He seemed to dance the same way Alaric would. We approached a shop of sorts not far from the machine yard where I'd first met Finn. The second I stepped into the workshop there was an eerie silence I hadn't felt anywhere else. It numbed the senses. Layers of problems and thoughts melted from my mind the same way they did in the laboratory.