self indulgent angst aus xd
Mentions of: self-harm, and suicide. Implications of anxiety and depression.
Dead dove: do not eat. Please do not read if you feel discomfort in the tags above.
Not proofread.
~1.6k words
ataraxia
(n.) A state of serene calmness.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Mafumafu stared blankly out, dunking a damp towel into a water-filled basin.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He twisted the wet towel, getting rid of the excessive water.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The hands of the old-fashioned clock read: 11:01.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Mafu gingerly walked towards the figure lying in the bed. His eyes were open, blankly staring upon the ceiling. The sound of cicadas and the sweet scent of hyacinth flooded the room. It was dead silent, besides the cry of cicadas, the soft hum of the ac and the sound of the clock ticking.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The boy's (who was lying on the pale hospital bed) messy hair was especially untidy, almost disguising the wrapped bandages on his forehead. His long lashes fluttered when he felt the damp towel caress his skin, though there was no other response besides that.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Mafu counted the passing seconds, it was a way to calm himself. Breathe alone the ticks. He closed his eyes. He'll wake up someday. Someday they'll be able to go out together again, to eat and sing and laugh together.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Someday.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
***
He sighed. He sprayed the pot of hyacinths that laid beneath the windowsill. The sunlight filtered through the thin curtains.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He was anxious. Anxious.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He needed to get his mind off of Soraru-san. The doctor said that he will wake up someday. Someday.
The albino stared blankly at the bright blue sky. The clouds looked like cotton candy. Cotton Candy. Maybe he did want to eat some right now. With Soraru-san.
Yet it was a childish dream, he looked down, back at the boy who lay in the hospital bed. Someday he'll eat cotton candy with Soraru-san.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He walked to where Soraru was propped up, he brushed the older's soft cheeks. Despite having no reaction, Mafu had a bad feeling. He felt something disgusting creep up his stomach, a gut feeling. He moved away.
"Ne ne, Soraru-san. The doctor left your medicine here, please eat it so you can get better, and one day we will go and eat cotton candy together." His gentle voice was barely audible.
The albino prodded Soraru-san's cheeks with the pill.
No response.
What did he expect anyway? He hasn't been responding to him or anyone at all. Merely doing the very minimum to eat what he was given. By the doctor. He refused to eat from the hands of his own lover.
