I don't just consider music to be a simple thing that I find recreation in, I consider music to be a lifeline. Last night, I went with my friend (shoutout to @purugle) to a concert. It was a couple of local bands, and it was my first official concert. That being said, It didn't matter what genre the music was. I let myself get completely lost in it. Music has gotten me through really shitty places in my life. About a year ago, I was cutting and I was suicidal. I blocked out almost everyone I knew, and when I got home from school I'd listen to music in my room everyday. I always locked the door and blasted whatever music I could find. Nowadays, I'm still sort of depressed, I'm dealing with some anxiety, but I haven't cut in 3 months.
Recently, I found the song Guns For Hands by Twenty One Pilots. A few days ago, I was on the phone with one of my best friends. We hadn't spoken to each other in a while, and I assumed she had no desire to speak to me again. On the phone that night, she apologized and while she was speaking, some lines from Guns For Hands came into my head. That friend knows things about me that I could never tell my parents. I also thought of the times in the past when I told her "I'm fine" when something really bad happened, or when I told her I would never cut again, when I actually knew i'd cut that night. You might be asking yourself 'Why couldn't you just tell her the truth?', And the answer is this: I don't want any of my friends to think any less of me. I want them to think I'll never go back to how I felt a year ago. I'm okay now, but I'm not sure how the rest of my life will be. Music has spoken to me when others ignored me.
