the snowflakes we count | larry

chapter one

snow is falling,
all around me,
children playing,
having fun,
it's the season,
of love and understanding,
merry christmas everyone!

the music booms out of the boxes, making the fairy lights tautened between the fir trees start to shake.

if only i had someone to love, i quietly say to myself as i walk down the street. cuddling deeper into my coat, i try to escape the utterly cold. it's been snowing for almost a week, even though december only started. if you ask me, i don't mind at all. the more snow, the more opportunities to have snowball fights, right?

in the middle of the venue in front of me there's a big christmas tree, appearance tall and capturing. not in a bad way, though. it's been decorated with christmas baubles and lametta in every imaginable colour, making the tree look very festive. at the top of it, they added a shining star, watching over the countless people running around here every day.

i let my gaze sweep all over the place, taking in the sight of so many different people. groups of friends taking selfies, smiling as bright as if they just won the lottery, parents waiting for their kids to get off the carousel, grandmas and grandpas enjoying their mulled wine on the benches next to the ferris wheel, and of course happy couples kissing under a quite big mistletoe here at london's christmas market.

it's been a while since i've been here, actually a couple of years. when grandpa was still alive, we used to drive all the way from holmes chapel over to london every weekend in december, just to spend the time until christmas at englands' biggest christmas market together. we would slide down the huge reindeer slide, take rides on the ferris wheel and play hide and seek between the cabins, only to be displaced from the shop owners because allegedly, we would stop people from recognising their warm winter pullovers and souvenirs. we never did, i promise.

barbara, a very old friend of my grandma worked there at a food shop, and everytime me and grandpa stopped by she would be incredibly happy to see us again, so she handed us waffles and hot chocolate for free. (secretly, of course! otherwise she probably would have been fired within 2 seconds)

it was always so much fun and i looked forward to it every year, christmas time being my favorite season for obvious reasons. i miss him a lot.

"excuse me" i say every now and then, trailing between the people to make my way through the crowd, unfortunately having to pass clusters of them standing in lines, waiting to get their ordered food.

a man is giving me a glare before grumbling something inaudible, but i don't really care. it's not like i'm jumping the queue, calm down. other than that, i'm coming through it pretty easily.

as soon as i free myself out of the gatherings, i finally spot my aimed destination. my legs start to walk faster than before, the coldness crawling up my body. from afar i see a tall, dark haired guy turn around, scanning the surroundings. a little smile forms itself onto my lips.

"zay-" i start to shout, but i'm not even able to end the sentence.

suddenly i don't know where up and down is. i find myself glide over the ground, wobbling from side to side for a few seconds, eventually losing balance and falling onto my bum. what the hell.

"can't even walk properly, huh?" zayn jokes, reaching his hand out to help me get up. i roll my eyes playfully at him, cleaning myself off the snow that's sticking to my pants and coat. "couldn't wait to see you, more likely" i smirk.

zayn is my best friend ever since i can think. we went to kindergarten together and always got into the same classes, until my family moved to london. if i would count all of the memories we have together, it would probably take years. seriously, i bet i spent at least half of my life with him, if i would add up all of the days we hung. he's been there for me in my darkest times, no matter how hard or complicated it might have been, he stayed. even though he did have good reasons to leave, but he didn't.