Short Stories

Addicted

[Do not read if you are going through something similar]

[Do not read if it may trigger a memory or nerve ]

We all been addicted to a thing or two. Imagine your addiction is candy, or anything sweet.  My family since I was little always told me I should cut back or my blood would turn into strawberry jelly and my teeth will root from the inside out and spiders would lay eggs inside my ear because they would be addicted to the sweets inside my body. I stopped for a long time then one day I grew up, got married and got pregnant.  

The cravings grew intense and hard to avoid, so from time to time my husbands would run to the store and buy me a few snacks.  A few turned from maybe one to two snacks a week to three to four snacks a day. I was falling back into my old ways. I eventually started sneaking snacks on the regular before bed to when I woke up.  My addiction was back. I knew it was unhealthy for the baby but what could I do. I tried to stop many times even went back to my diet and exercise like I did the first time to curve the cravings but this darn baby was increasing my need for more. 

Before I knew it my husband and I was arguing on daily about my habits and increasing spending needs for these snacks. I told him I needed it, it was all I had to keep me comfort and keep the baby satisfied. He yelled at me and told me it wasn't the babies doing and I was using our baby as an excuse to fall back into old ways. We argued for hours and I tried all I could to try to convince him the need for all the junk food and why I needed him to stay. The last thing he said before walking out the from door was "You have snacks to comfort you!" Those words haunted me for weeks.

With my husband no longer home, my eating habit began to fun out of control. I started to feel sick to the point my doctor put me on bed rest and sent a bedside nurse to help aide me. That's when it started, the crazy dreams and hallucinations. The first time I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth. It was sweet and gooey, when I went to spit out the toothpaste  it was thick and lumpy and red like jelly. I panicked and turned the water on washing it down the sink, then threw water on my face. I looked in the mirror, opened my mouth and everything was fine. I just assumed it was the new medication the doctor had me on.

Another incident I thought my fingers was turning into twizzler's. I was sitting in the back of the medic car, when I started to drift off to sleep. I could hear my nurse ask me questions and talking to me, like friends do. I thought I was answering her and talking back. Being groggy, I remember lifting my head up slightly to look at the nurse and I went to rub my eyes and that's when I felt something off, it was sticky and felt rubbery. I looked down at my hands and my fingers was all twisted and red and flopped around all over the place when I moved around. I screamed and freaked out in the back of the car. I was kicking and screaming and trying to bite off my own fingers and was pulling so hard at them I broke a few without realizing it.  The next thing I remember I drifted off.  A nurse told me everything that happen when I woke up in the hospital just hours later. 

I was going have to stay in the hospital a little longer to monitor the baby and my safety. My husband called the hospital and woke with me for a little while and told me he would be up later to see me after work. Those hours felt like days. I sat in my hospital bed counting down the minutes that ticked by. Popping on a couple movies to help past the time. I took a deep breath and came to a realization he wasn't coming. I started to cry and have a panic attack, I began hyperventilating and the room started to spin.  I pressed my emergency call button at least a hundred times. I jumped out of bed and try to run to the door but was yanked back by all the wires cooked to me and the baby monitor.  

I fell to the floor and hitting my tail bone hard. I laid back in pain rubbing my ass. My head slightly sliding under the bed and right there eye to eye worms, multi color worms sliding around under my bed. I freaked out and began slapping them off the underside of my bed, causing some of them to fall on me, in a panicked I flopped around on the floor like a fish out of water trying get the worms off of me, while still trying to press the call button another hundred times.