Season 5 One Shots

Not Walking Away Again

Immediately after 5x07...

As Andy returned to her workout, the only sounds she could hear were her breathing and Robert's quiet steps as he left her alone in the gym. She hadn't meant to blurt out that she had slept with Beckett, but it infuriated her that Robert thought that they were in any way similar in the lengths they would go to for a promotion. Yes, she wanted to eventually make captain, ideally at 19, but she wouldn't do it by taking advantage of the injuries of another firefighter or use Dean's death as an opportunity to advocate for a transfer out of 23. Robert, on the other hand, had always put his career goals ahead of everything, and everyone, else. He was the ruthless one, not her.

As she counted reps in her head, she heard Robert's voice, not loud, but firm and determined.

"No."

She heard his footsteps stop, and then start coming closer to her. When he got back to the workout area, Robert stood patiently as Andy continued her workout. She looked good. Clearly she had been channeling some of her frustrations into her fitness routine, because her body looked strong and toned.

Andy continued her workout. She didn't look up, but she could feel his presence and his gaze. Back when things were good between them, she found that reassuring. They could be at a scene and without diverting her attention from her task, she could feel his attention on her. Now, however, she found it unnerving. She had hurt him, she knew that, but their marriage was essentially over; she didn't feel the need for a long, dragged-out argument about her momentary lapse of judgment with Beckett.

"Did you say something?" she asked evenly.

"I said, 'no,'" Robert repeated. "As in, 'no, I'm not walking away again.'"

Andy scoffed before turning her back and going to grab another weight. She was the acting captain, they were only partway through a 24-hour shift, and after dealing with Maddox's stupidity, she didn't have the energy to fight her soon-to-be ex-husband too. If he wanted to stand there while she exercised, she wasn't going to do anything to stop him, but she didn't have to engage with him either.

Robert waited until Andy returned and started another set of exercises before speaking: "Where are the divorce papers, Andy?"

His question threw her off guard, and she paused her workout. She predicted that after revealing that she slept with Beckett, Robert would be angry, lash out and ask her what the hell she was thinking, or perhaps even repeat some version of her father's crass words to her. What she hadn't expected was a calm, collected Robert asking about the papers he had signed more than four months prior.

"They're in my locker. I put them there after the training day with Diane," Andy admitted.

"Go get them," Robert commanded.

His voice was quiet, but his tone and countenance made it clear that he expected her to do as he directed.

"Excuse me?"

Andy wasn't interested in taking orders from her husband. She asked for the divorce. The papers were hers to do with whatever she wanted.

"Go get them," Robert repeated.

Andy glared at Robert as she weighed her options. If she refused, she doubted he would walk away, and a highly visible battle at the station where she was trying, desperately, to earn some respect was to be avoided at all costs. She had just reprimanded Maddox publicly for his behavior that had endangered lives, she didn't want anyone questioning whether her personal life was impacting her ability to do her job. The other choice was to acquiesce and get the papers, which still required her signature and were sitting on the top shelf of her locker.

With the options limited to giving in to Robert and making a fool of herself in front of the Station 23 firefighters, she quickly decided to choose the path of least resistance, but she didn't have to be happy about it.

"Fine," she spat out and hastily walked away.

The station was small, so it didn't take her long to return with the envelope. As she did, Robert reached out his hand and she gave them to him, bracing herself for his reaction. Pulling out the papers, his suspicions were confirmed; the papers looked exactly as they did the day he signed them.

"What are you doing Andy?" he asked.

Andy looked away; she didn't know how to answer that question. She had been so sure she wanted the divorce, but then between Jack, Theo, and Diane, she began to doubt herself. She had planned to say something to Robert the day of the Crisis One training, but before she could, he handed her the signed papers, and she began to wonder if the dissolution of their marriage was the only way either of them could be happy. Then came the ruptured gas line, Dean's death, and taking on the captain's role at 23.

When she didn't say anything, Robert continued to talk: "I'm not sure what you're doing, but I can't go on like this, in this crazy limbo. Some days I think you might actually want to fix what's broken, and some days, like today, I think you must be getting some perverse pleasure in hurting me."

"Robert, I'm not..." Andy began.

"Don't," Robert cut her off. He wanted to finish what he needed to say.

He looked at his watch. "It's 9:00. We have ten hours left on this shift, and neither one of us is going anywhere unless we get a call. That allows us the opportunity to talk—really talk. The way I see it, by the time the sun rises tomorrow, we might both be exhausted, but we'll also have a path forward. You'll either sign the papers and I can drop them off at the clerk's office on my way home, or we'll decide that we're both willing to see if we can salvage this marriage, and we'll figure out some next steps. Either way, we'll each gain some clarity."

"And if I don't agree?" Andy asked.

"Then I'll ask my lawyer to file a petition for divorce on my behalf. If you won't sign, he'll ask for a default order, and our marriage will be over," Robert explained.

Andy looked down. She wanted to walk away. She wanted to grab the divorce papers back from Robert, stick them in her locker, and then hide out in the captain's bunk until the shift was over and Robert went back to 19. As she debated her next move, the words of the people she had confided in came rushing back:

"You find things to use as excuses to cut and run."

"Most people don't go from electric to divorced."

"The fact that you hate him might mean you still love him."

"Ok," she said tentatively, attempting to sound more sure of herself than she was. "Let me go shower and change. Meet in the captain's office in 15 minutes."

Robert looked from the divorce papers he held in his hands to his wife. She was uneasy, he could tell from the slight quaver in her voice as she spoke, but now, so was he. Until this evening, he had always held out hope that they could figure things out, but between finding out she had slept with Beckett and his ultimatum that they make a decision tonight, the possibility that he would leave 23 the next morning with signed divorce papers was very real.

"Ok," he affirmed. "I'll see you in 15."