I did everything for him. My entire life was based around him and I didn't even know it. Yet it still hurt in a way I still have that big hole in my chest it hasn't gone away. What do I do to get rid of it? I have tried everything to get rid of it yet the hole remains hurting me and getting bigger every time I'm insulted, hurt ,traumatized, hated. But whenever I'm with him it feels like it's gone I don't even feel it at all when I'm with him. It's like he numbs the pain just for a little then when he leaves it starts to hurt again. But he doesn't love me he loves her... She's so much prettier then I could ever be. I couldn't compare to that even if I tried. She's bold I'm shy, She has long beautiful hair, I have short black hair. Hourglass shape with no flaws, Beautiful brown eyes remind me of gold and life. She's everything I wish I could be yet. She compliments me, she's my friend. Her skin a light chocolate brown dazzling. No wonder he loved her she's everything I'm not. I wish I could be that dazzling and beautiful. He's so into her yet she has a boyfriend and I know if I tell him he'll be hurt and I would rather see him happy then sad. I hate myself I have hip dips she has perfect hips, she has long beautiful hair I have short hair, everyone likes her everyone ignores me finds me even weird. But if me and him tried I could show him what I'm really like not being a friend but being friend zoned might actually be best for us at least for now. I'm not mentally stable so a relationship isn't the ideal thing for me I need to get therapy before I even start thinking about a boyfriend or girlfriend. But oh my god he's so attractive I just can't resist loving him. I mean well I do have self control obviously but still I wish he looked at me the way he does her. No matter what our friends tell me he would never like me back and I need to come to peace with that even if I do not want to...
