Fighting for nothing (Yesahi)

Sadness

WARNING: Self harm and suicide attempt

Yedam walked into his bedroom he shared with Asahi, looking around. He sighed as he picked up clothes and put them in the laundry basket. It was his turn to do laundry this week, and he was dreading it.

As he was organizing all the laundry his phone rang with an reminder. Yedam's eyes widened reading the reminder. 'Refill Asahi's prescription for next month!' Right. The month was coming to an end, he needed to remind Asahi about his prescription.

Yedam picked up Asahi's bottle of antidepressants. He started walking out the room, but he quickly paused when he felt that the bottle was full. Too full. Yedam's eyes widened as he opened the bottle and saw it full to the top. That's when Yedam realized that Asahi had been lying to him for almost an entire month.

His body was quickly full of rage, both from his boyfriend lying to him and because Asahi was harming himself by not taking his medication.

Asahi was in the kitchen, making breakfast with Haruto. He smiled when Haruto took bites while they prepared the food. He wasn't going to eat any of it but he wanted to see Haruto and Yedam eat well.

Asahi didn't know how much time had passed since that phone call with Doyoung. Maybe a week? He thinks that's how long Haruto has been staying at his house now. If it weren't for Haruto he would be crying about not having to take care of Dayeon anymore. Yedam still didn't know, Asahi didn't know how to tell him.

Yedam stormed into the kitchen with Asahi's medication bottle in his hands. Asahi didn't notice until Yedam slammed the bottle down on the counter. Both Asahi and Haruto jumped and looked up at Yedam.

Asahi felt nervousness fill him when he made contact with the bottle on the counter, and when he saw Yedam's angry face. "Yedam what-" Yedam's angry voice quickly interrupted him. "Why have you been lying to me?" Asahi froze. He felt like sweat was going to burst out of his skin any second now.

"I-I'm sorry I-" Asahi felt the words get caught up in his throat. Haruto glanced nervously at his brother and Yedam. Yedam sighed loudly. "Haruto go to your room okay? Asahi and I need to talk about some stuff." Haruto only nodded and quickly ran upstairs, he didn't want to be involved in any of this.

"Yedam I'm sorry I'll start taking them again I'm sorry-"

"Why are you doing this to yourself! You know how important it is for you to take those everyday!"

"I'm sorry!" Asahi felt tears forming in his eyes. "So this is why you haven't been eating at all. And why you've been all down and depressed. I mean you've always kind of been like that but it's been worse these couple weeks." It was Asahi's turn to get angry.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Yedam sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration. "Look I know you have some issues with your depression and stuff. But that's why you have to take those everyday. If you want to help yourself why are you not taking them? You're not helping yourself at all! Your doctor and psychiatrist said it's best to take them!"

Asahi clenched his fists. "I hate taking them. I don't feel anything but numb. Why do I have to take fucking pills to make myself feel better?"

"Maybe because you already can't make yourself feel better!" Yedam thought that maybe he should feel guilty about saying that, especially knowing how much his boyfriend has been through. Only silence filled the room after Yedam's sentence.

Asahi was the first to break the silence. "Fine. I'm sorry. I'll take them again and I'll go pick up my next months prescription later today. Put that bottle back in the room." Asahi's voice was soft and quiet.