OBAMA X TRUMP

PART FICKING 7

why the fuck are you still reading you fucking gremlin

i feel all of you need this ^^

i met some people and god i fucking love and hatr them

idk how to feel abt going into my new year

but its fine bcz bestie baka bae is there

deadass suicidal

i recited the independence

i got some Ltest favourite Musics

i found some cool Crocodiles
SCOLISISISISISI

man im a jar

now what the fuck is gravity?

WHAT THE FUCK IS BLUETOOTH??????

what the fuck r ships.

i pegged ur favourite rat last night

my teacher asked what i got for advent, and i said "hopefully a will to live" but i had to interrupt my sentence mid way

i learned that placenta's are edible, and im going to eat urs <3

what is the purpose of living if we're all little gay humans doing gay things and helping the gay economy if we're going to die a gay death?

OHIROEHHJDJSNFJANDJja!!!!!!!

Heaven/Purgatory/Hell

Heaven -
When you die, if you have been a good person by Garfield's standards you arrive in a pan. You are becoming lazania and when you have been fully baked, perfectly baked you will be fed to Garfield. You are serving him even in the afterlife, a Garfieldest's dream. With evert spul, every peice of lazanya you are sevring your master and making him stronger. This is where he gets his abilities and immortality as God.

Purgetory -
When you die but have not been a good nor bad person by Garfield's standards, you are a peice of popcorn in a bright red and white stripped bowl. Jon's popcorn bowl. You are at the bottom of the pile and he is slowly eating the other peices but when he gets to the bottom of the bowl where your soul resides in the peice of popcorn he drips the bowl, knocking you under the couch to forever collect dust and never be eaten.

Hell -
When you die, if you have been a bad person by Garfield's standards you are turned into dog kibble. You sit in a dirty, dusty, and bad smelling dog bowl until Odie comes around and he eats you messily. Sometimes you get knocked out of the bowl to watch him eat the others and when he is done he will find you. There is no escape from Odie and you are now forever suffered and tortuered by the acids in Odie's stomach, never to be dead but to eternity be living in his stomach, unconsentually vored by him. Unless you get shit out I suppose, but even then it is worse. You will feel the most ecrutiating pain you have ever felt and then you fall. Then you are picked up and composted, immortally shitty.

Gods

Garfield - In Garfieldism he is the one we normally worship and/or pray to. He is our God, the one who usually has good intent on protecting and caring for humans, although he rarely pays attention to us and hears our prayers. He normally looks out for celebraties and big fans of Garfield, but he cares for us all. Garfeild doesnt really care for the other Gods, opinionating they they are lower than him and just annoyances to him for he is much more liked and powerful than them.

Odie - In Gardielsism, he would be our 'satan' more or less. He opposes Garfisld in every way, practically his opposite. He rarely listens to mortals' prayers, and it is even more rare that he might care for one. Although, he watches over all dogs much like Garfeild watches over all cats.

Nermal - In Garfieldism, Nermal has a much similar relationship to Odie and Garfield's relationship, opposing our lord in mant ways. Although, they will team up with Garfield if it means opposing Odie. Nermal is considered the god of chaos, and in DnD terms they would be known as Nuetral Chaotic. They like to pull tricks on other Gods, many times ending up in pain and suffering for the mortals below them. Even with their disregard for mortals, they often find mortals they like and sometimes even turn then into Demigods.

Arlene - Not much is known about Arlene, but many people know that she is the main protector of mortals. She cares for bothcats and dogs. Throughout history she has shown that she respects the other Gods and usually doesnt go into conflict with then, choosing to stand to the side unless Odie gets seriously injured.

thank you for reading my little fridge, cumfuckle, cumdumpster, cream cake, sea urchin, green beans, orange juice, cumsluts!

see you next year... or not🤪