Okay so the characters in this are Homosmurf, Sexeh, and Miku Binder Cask.*Coughs* https://twitter.com/ss_shony/status/1470406222708973574?s=21Okay.Wait uh Miku Binder Cask is the character in the story. The character is actually Cask of Amontillado, but this is supposed to be a historical au thing or something I dunno.
It's not historically accurate because this is low effort and I'm not going to do a crap ton of research for a low-effort camp fanfiction.
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Sexeh was going on a casual stroll through the village, when suddenly uh oh! It's Homosmurf, whom Sexeh hates for whatever reason I dunno.
"Rawr Sexeh," Homosmurf said or something."D-mn Homosmurf..." Sexeh mumbled under his breath, but they actually said it out loud because he can't shut the frick up.Maybe because it's the 1800's he's homophobic or something.Uh I mean h*moph*bic.
"Erm what the frcick that's mean. :(" Homosmurf whined. "But it's okay because you're Sexeh. :Heart_eyes:""I'm homophobic towards you." H*moph*bic.Miku Binder Cask came along on a horse and was dressed up like Thomas Jefferson, somehow. ???? I dunno how he fits his fat dumpy in there.
"Greetings...you. I have been informed of uh unrequited love that I'm supposed to matchmake." Homosmurf and Sexeh glanced at each other."Aw h-ll naw," Sexeh flatly stated. "I hate men." Before Sexeh could punch Homosmurf, Miku Binder Cask fell off of his horse and rolled into Sexeh, knocking him over. Cask looked at Sexeh.
"Dang, you're actually kinda hot. I'd take you for myself if Tapi wouldn't kill me for doing so."
Miku Binder Cask got up and off his stupid dumpy and ran over to Homosmurf.
"Alright, I'm really good at relationship stuff and you can totally trust me. I've had a lot of relationship experience!" Cask exclaimed.
"Wow thanks! I'm glad to have someone with so much experience with successful relationships to help me get Sexeh to like me back," Homosmurf replied.
"Ahaha yes successful relationships. Anyway! I think your tactics are too plain for Sexeh! But not to worry! I, as Thomas Jefferson I mean Miku Binder Cask, the principle author of The Declaration of Independence, shall use my literacy to help you write a Declaration of Love!"
Miku Binder Cask drags Homosmurf somewhere to write and plan, I dunno the bathroom.
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Cask of Amontillado's Historical AU or Something
Historical FictionCask of Amontillado has a fat dumpy. I think it's challenge eight. I promise I don't actually normally write this way please. Also this isn't serious at all in case that wasn't obvious.
