topics. [discontinued]

ryan

I grit my teeth and cross my arms over my chest as I walk through the harsh winds towards my house. My hair flies back with the air and I squint my eyes through the sunglasses I was wearing because of the force. I can barely feel my face as the numb, freezing sensation takes over my entire body. Who knew it could be so cold in early October? 'Cause I most certainly didn't.

After several minutes of trudging back from the high school, I finally made it to the house. That was the first and only time I would ever be thankful that I was finally out of school for the day. The most horrifying thing had happened. Jordan ripped my sunglasses right off my face, uncovering a huge bruise coating the outside of my eye. I avoided contact with him as often as possible for the rest of the day. Every time he tried to pester me into telling him where the bruise came from, I wouldn't budge. I stayed stubborn and ignored his pleads. But it was for his own well being, of course. The last thing I wanted was to drag one of my best friends into this mess.

I made contact with the front door, placing my numbing hand on the cold doorknob. I slowly twisted it, cracking the door open a bit to take a slight peek inside. To my excitement, I saw my father passed out on the couch with a few beer bottles spread out across the coffee table. I could only assume how incredibly intoxicated he was before he fell asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed the door behind me and slipped my shoes off with no mishaps, he didn't even move an inch. As I tip-toed to the staircase that led to Coby and I's shared bedroom, I heard him cough abruptly. I had a mini heart attack and squeezed my eyes shut, mentally pleading that he wouldn't wake up. I opened them slowly and took a look behind me. Still asleep. Thank God.

I scurried my way up the stairs, careful not to make too much noise. Once I got to the top of the staircase, I headed towards the door at the end of the hall. The fuzzy carpet hugged my toes as I walked. Once I made my way over to my bedroom, I leaned up against the door and peeked my head inside, "Coby?"

He perked his head up from the computer where he was playing some random video game, "Hey Ry!"

Coby sincerely amazed me. Through all of the struggles him and I have been through, he still remains completely positive. Maybe it's because he's still technically a child, 14 to be exact. (i know he's older irl, it's for the sake of the story) But, maybe it's because he has his mother's genes. Sadly, I got my dad's.

My mom was always a happy person, always wearing a smile across her face. That's why we never saw it coming. One day she just became... sad. It's almost as if all of the beautiful things in this world just dropped dead before our very eyes. She no longer had the spring in her step, the twinkle in her eye, or the sparkle on her teeth whenever she'd smile. All of that was gone. It's almost as if she wasn't herself anymore. I was eleven years old and my biggest worry was if my mom would come home or not. No fairy tales or video games. No pesky schoolgirl crushes. I never had any of that because I had too much on my mind already.

My mom started taking longer "vacations" and because of that, my father took up drinking. The bad habit only worsened when we got the news. My mom, the one person who could bright up my whole day with the snap of a finger, was gone. She took her own life with no note left behind or anything. She was gone in a millisecond.

My dad blamed it on me. He told me it was because I was "too much to handle." That's when it all started. The first night he came home drunk was the scariest. I was sitting on the couch doing my math homework when he started to scream profanities my way. He did things that any sane person would never even imagine a father doing to his child. Then... I started to blame me too.

I snapped out of my thoughts and back into reality with Coby. I forced a smug smile and sat down on my bed that was on the opposite side of our room. "What're you up to, Cobs?" I asked, calling him by his nickname, attempting to create some form of small talk with my younger brother.