feelings... eww

part nineteen 🐛

  Ya know I was thinking, and while I was thinking, I found out I kinda want to be in a poly relationship.

  Like it sounds really cool and a lot of fun. Though I know it won't all be fun and you definitely have to know how to express your feelings openly, but it sounds great to me honestly. For everyone that doesn't know, I love attention. Like I strive off of it I don't even care if it's negative. It lets me know that people are thinking about me, and considering my biggest fear is being forgotten or replaced, I fucking love it. So being in a relationship with more than one person to care for me, or maybe even love me if I'm really lucky, sounds great. I also know that I have to return this affection and I have no problem doing that. I love showing people that they matter to me, I just don't know how to do it so I don't really do it as often as I should, but I try my hardest and I think that's what matters.

  It's not only the attention that I want though. I just love the thought of having multiple people to just coexist with and show my appreciation to. This might sound dumb but I can't really do this without feeling awkward, so having multiple people show that they appreciate me giving them my love sounds amazing honestly.

  Now don't get me wrong I am totally fine with having just a 2 person relationship, but if they were to say they want another person in the relationship, depending on who it is, I would be totally happy with it and even more happy that they want it too.

  I feel like I should also say that I would never pressure my s/o to be in a poly relationship if they weren't comfortable with it. Of course I want it, but if they don't then that's completely fine and I'm not going to push them too.

  This isn't really that interesting to read but I haven't been able to tell anyone without getting interrupted and the topic being changed so I just wanted to share it here, though I doubt many people will read this.

  Anyways, that's all I have to say for today. Bye bye. Muah muah <33.