It's been a day or two since I finally got this place to be exciting again. Things have been smoother than ever. But of course, as soon as things start going my way, they scoff at me, and turn the other direction, like a middle-aged mom at a supermarket being told to pay.
While I was living the perfect dream, leading my love straight into my arms... I got some news.
And it was Led Light again. He came up to me, and with an even wider grin... spoke these words.
"Retro Globe is cheating on you and Binoculars with Link Hat + L"
What? No. No, of course not. Why would he? Of all people, Link Hat? No. Not possible. But just after hearing those words come from Led Light, I heard the same rumor, spoken over, and over again from everyone's mouth. Not a single soul wasn't talking about it.
"With Link Hat? Wack." spoke Rotten Apple.
"bro... retro's kinda cringe now..." sighed Red Marker or whatever their name was.
"bro i shipped retro x binoculars i'm sad now..." lamented Corrupt Orb.
No absolute fucking way. Retro Globe... was fucking brainwashed by Link Hat?? He's like a succubus except not hot. How did he do this? Was he suave? Did my love just really like Breath of the Wild or something?
Well, this shouldn't be too hard. I'll just do the same thing. My love will thank me, he will appreciate and adore me once he knows what I got him out of. Once I finally get him, we are not going to deal with this hell anymore.
And so, I got a trusty wildlife survival kit.
I went up to Link Hat, gun in hand, and I asked him about it. About his horrendous acts. And he spoke, a cocky, unwavering voice.
"the fuck u gonna do about it L"
Oh no fucking way he just said that. He did NOT just say that. He doesn't even fucking fear death himself. I'm not just going to kill him. I'm going to make him a special hell worse than whatever kind of purgatory he's going to once he's dead.
And while I'm at that, I am going to get all of the answers that I need. Every single one of them.
