Undertale LGBT Pride Month (2017)

6. Feeling

A poem from the perspective of Alphys, about Undyne.

I remember when we met.
Deep underground,
at my lowest point,
on the edge,
ready to fly away
to a world of eternal rest.

She saw me, facing the abyss.
Two abysses.
One, a great chasm,
leading to unknown places
and certain death.
The other, the fabric of my own mind,
leading to a horrific past
and certain death.
A certain death I wanted, needed.

She saw me. Took my hand.
Acted as if she didn't know.
But I knew she knew.

She saw me. Took me back
to the world I knew.
Saved the life of a stranger.
Saved the life of a worthless failure.

I discovered a new feeling that day.

It was small. Quiet.
A spark easily snuffed out.
A sprout quickly uprooted.
But I saw her again.
And the spark flared,
and the sprout grew.

I saw her again.
She came back.
She worried about me.
A stranger.
A stranger who'd made worse mistakes
than she could ever dream of.
But she cared.

The new feeling intensified.

I didn't know what it was.

Until later.

Until later,
when she'd called
every day for months,
had stopped by every week,
had listened to everything I said
about some subject I liked,
as a child might listen
to a bedtime story.

Until later,
when I watched her train,
when I watched her work,
when I saw the depth of her kindness
and the strength of her caring.
When I realized how far she would go
to protect the innocent
and serve her King.

The feeling blossomed
like a golden flower in the sunlight.

I tried to ignore it.

I thought it unreasonable.

I thought it unattainable.

I thought it unrequited.

I tried to drown the fire in my heart.
But it was unquenchable.

I tried to pull up the bloom in my soul.
But it could not be moved.

I tried to focus on my work.
Made a new friend.
Made up with an old one.
I tried to distract myself
with my duties.

Then the feeling exploded.

It was too much.

I confessed.

I confessed how I felt.

I confessed my wrongdoings.

I confessed loudly.
Embarrassingly.
Babbling and bawling and hating myself.
Wanting her to understand.
Desperate for her to understand.
Certain that she would not.

She did.

She understood.

The same fire that burned in me
for so long
blazed in her as well.

She accepted me.
She helped me.
She cared for me.
She wanted to be with me.

And I was finally able
to accept the feeling.
I was finally able
to be say what I meant.
I was finally able
to stop the lies.

Now.

Now she stands by my side.

Now she stands by my side,
a strong tower,
a fortress against everything
that threatened to consume me.

Now she stands by my side,
a priceless treasure,
a selfless person for me to cherish
and to strive to emulate.

She looks at me,
looks into my eyes,
whispers words I'd never
thought I'd hear
directed at me.

And I answer,
and I let the feeling,
the feeling long suppressed,
long ignored,
finally free,
pour fully from my soul.

I love you.