subconscious

A breakup poem.

(I'm sorry if u are offended by me mentioning my ex's name. Tbh he probably had forgotten my name now, so it might be fair)

Why.
Why do roses have to be as red as the blood that drains from my cheeks
when you say things like that?
How.
How can you say or think that you are less toxic than me when you
made me bruise myself for your smile?
Who.
Who fucking told you that it's ok to push someone down and walk all over them,
then smile sweeter then you ever have at them and say it's their fault
it's over?
What.
What the hell do I do with all the wasted time and energy I used for you,
and all the things I gave up and did for you?
I gave myself to you.
All of me.
Then you take it,
and tell me it's not good enough.
Not loving enough.
How does my love..
not feel like love?
And why the hell did I think you were worthy of it?
Fucking hell Jakob.
This is the last time my hand writes your name.
The shape of that name......
I had a crush on it.
Now I Fucking have to go through all this shit
when you don't.
Even.
Fucking.
Deserve it!
My friends were right.....
I'm out of your league.
You're not sad at all,
are you?
Not one tear,
when I cried oceans for you.
Go fucking drown in those oceans.
The list I made, to help my cutting
(Which was stimulated by your mistreatment,
making your false, manipulative and uncommon kindness,
make me feel as if u were helping me and I was safe and loved by you.)
Had your name splattered upon every page.
All the things I wanted.
You don't deserve it all.
The poems,
The scenarios,
The tears,
The smiles.
I stood up for you,
when no one else would,
you shit-spewing asshole.
What the hell gave you the idea
you deserved someone better then me.
Bastard.
You treat animals horribly.
You are rude to all.
Tiny dicked turd brain.
I shaved, revealed, and abused my body for you.
I un-fuck you.
Go off and die from weed and wanking off socks.
You dirty lowly life-form.