Never Letting Go

Brr-ring! Ring-ring! I hit the snooze button on my alarm clock as it rang, signaling that I had to wake up and get ready for school. I checked my phone for any texts and saw that I got one from my best friend Taeyeon. Good morning my crazy friend! Can’t wait to see u at school today ^^ My mouth instantly curled up into a smile as I read it. After brushing my teeth and getting ready for school, I grabbed a piece of toast on my way out and hopped on my bike.

                Once I got to school, I was immediately swept into a hug by Taeyeon. “Tiffany! Omg did u hear about the new movie that’s coming out?”. She kept babbling on while holding on to my arm, a slight blush creeping along my cheeks from the sudden touch. As she kept talking all I could think about at the moment was how cute she was. The way her wavy ombre hair seemed to hug her face so perfectly, her smooth creamy skin, and those kissable lips. W-wait. Did I just think about kissing my best friend? I can’t possibly like her like that can I?! I shake my head. No that’s impossible. We’re both straight girls with crushes of the opposite gender. Although my so-called “crush” really didn’t give me that boost of adrenaline anymore that I used to experience… But still, I couldn’t be a lesbian. It was just absurd. “Hey Tiffany are u alright? Your face is kinda turning red.” Taeyeon exclaimed, her voice pulling me out of my thoughts and back into reality. “Um yeah. It’s really hot today.” I answered, and made a big show of fanning myself so she wouldn’t notice me staring at her. I would just have to talk to Jessica later, my friend from middle school who was already out of the closet. She would understand how I felt about Taeyeon. “Mmm.” Taeyeon gave a look of doubt but said nothing more, as we took our seats in history class.

                The whole time in class I barely paid attention to the lesson, and my gaze kept making its way over towards Taeyeon. My heart was beating faster all of a sudden. God she was so pretty. Taeyeon turned around unexpectedly and quickly waved to me, mouthing “Isn’t this really boring?” I smiled and nodded, even though I was startled by the interaction. It was as if Taeyeon knew I was staring at her earlier and was trying to break the awkwardness. The rest of the class was filled with us exchanging glances at each other. We were close enough to the point where we could communicate with merely a look. During P.E. I felt lost and lonely, like something was missing. The teacher grouped us in teams of 5 to play soccer and Taeyeon wasn’t on my team. I looked over in Taeyeon’s direction and saw her laughing and joking around with a guy named Baekhyun, her head resting on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist. I was jealous. She never was that touchy around anyone except me. Why was I feeling like this? Seeing Taeyeon and Baekhyun left an empty space in my heart.

                The rest of the day, I avoided Taeyeon as best I could. I feared that if I saw her I would break into tears for no reason. When I got home, I called Jessica and told her how I felt about Taeyeon. “It’s simple. You’re in love with her.” Jessica said briskly. “What?! I can’t be! I’m straight!” I retorted. “Listen, from what you told me, you’re clearly obsessed with her. And didn’t u say that u stopped feeling anything for Nichkhun and guys in general a while ago?” countered Jessica. “Fine…you got me.” I mumbled. “Exactly! Now isn’t it time you accept your feelings and confess to Taeyeon before Baekhyun snatches her away completely?” After talking to Jessica, I was sure of what I had to do. Tell Taeyeon how I felt, though easier said than done. But Jessica was right, I was head-over-heels in love with Taeyeon. I wanted her, not as a best friend but as my lover. I put on my coat and rushed to Taeyeon’s house. “Hey.” I said as Taeyeon opened her door. “I need to tell you something important.” “What is it Fany?” Taeyeon asked. “Um. Ah. I l-like you. Not the best friend kind of love. I love you like a boyfriend would love his girlfriend.” Taeyeon just stood there, shocked and speechless. Tears started to form in my eyes as I knew my love was one-sided. “I’m sorry Taeyeon. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. You probably think I’m disgusting don’t you? I’ll just leave now…” I started to turn around when Taeyeon pulled me and kissed me. I was frozen for a few seconds until it dawned on me that the love of my life was kissing me. I put my arms around her neck and passionately kissed her back. “I love you too.” Taeyeon said when we stopped for air. “Really? I was worried that you liked Baekhyun because you were all over him in P.E….” “Fany, Baekhyun’s like a brother to me. Besides, he’s gay. The whole school knows that.” “What??? For re-” Taeyeon held a finger up to my lips motioning me to stop talking. “Shh. There’s nothing to worry about now. I’ve liked you since the first day of school. I was worried that you didn’t roll that way so I hid my feelings. Your confession still feels like a dream. But I love you and now you love me. That’s all that matters.” She finished her sentence and we kissed again for what seemed like an eternity, with the intent of never letting go.