you're happy

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I always said that i only wanted you to be happy. Even without me. But its 4am and im re-reading that letter you gave me months ago and i dont want that anymore.

How pathetic is it, to be jealous of a stranger who gets to see your smile? Because i am.

This undeniable feeling logged in the back of my throat brings tears to my eyes. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't be sad. I should be happy for you.

You're happy.
I should be happy.
I should be happy.
I should be happy.
Im not happy.

[Hella old poem]

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