teach me to love

꒰01 - my sun꒱

Leaves rustled around me as I peered towards the grand castle; the oranges, reds, and purples of the sunset outlining a silhouette I knew all too well. She stood on the hill, gazing out into the kingdom, her locks gracefully falling down her shoulders as her flowing black gown only enhanced her figure. The sun slowly disappeared behind the hill, ending its duties for the day, as the gloomy night set in.

You are my sun.

Can I be your moon?

-

"Ma'am, you must marry one of them... for the sake of our kingdom, please", my subordinate said, desperation coating her tone.

"How many times must I tell you," I replied through gritted teeth, "I. Don't. Want. To."

"But ma'am-"

"I said no!" anger rose in my voice. What was so hard for them to understand? There is no way in hell I am marrying someone I do not love. 

I stormed off in frustration, slamming the door behind me as I flopped onto the bed, tears rolling down my cheeks.

I let out a long sigh as memories flooded my mind of my carefree youth. When did it all change? Deep down, I knew it was my duty to serve my people and support the kingdom by building alliances. But why... why was I unable to love? 

My head filled with resentful thoughts, as I sobbed quietly, covering my mouth so others couldn't hear. Was this really my fate? To be forever trapped with someone I don't love?

I heard footsteps approaching, so I hurriedly sat up and wiped the tears from my face. A knock sounded, followed by the sound of my mother's voice.

I shrank back slightly at her presence in my room, knowing harsh words were about to ensue.

"Yoven", she said sharply.

I looked towards the ground, unable to meet her eyes.

"What is this all about? We have arranged nineteen princes for you to meet, and you cannot accept a single one of them?"

"But mother, you don't understand-"

"I don't want to hear it. In my time, we were grateful to have a prince be willing to marry us at all. How dare you disrespect our honor like this?" the volume of her criticism increased with every word uttered, rage clearly building in her expressions.

My mind was pounding with emotions, and the last thing I needed right now was a lecture.

"I'm sorry..." was all I could muster after a long pause, trying to suppress the resentment building within me.

She looked me up and down, a frown forming on her face. I knew that expression all too well, and I predicted exactly what was about to come out of her mouth. "Look at yourself, how could anyone even love you? How selfish are you..." 

I let her words trail off into the background, shutting her out before she could scar me as she did before. Words are the sharpest knives of them all, they say.

She eventually left the room, leaving me once again to my thoughts. I knew it is the tradition in our kingdom for the daughter of the king to marry at the age of 18, but was there really no other choice?

As the night set in, the filtered rays of moonlight shined through the curtains, casting a silvery shadow onto the polished floor. It reminded me of the times I spent with my sister down by the ocean, admiring the moon and observing the stars. Oh, how much I miss those years.

My feet subconsciously carried me to my door, as if they knew I needed to go outside to escape my worries. And so I did, quietly tiptoeing to one of the back doors, gently pushing it open and stepping outside into the cold night. 

The breeze hit my face, allowing me to take a deep breath of fresh air that momentarily freed me of all my worries. I slowly walked out into the fields, feeling every patch of grass under my bare feet. 

Over the years, I had fallen in love with the serenity of the ocean in the deep night, the water gently splashing about the rocky shore, each wave glimmering with moonlight as it washed away the shells accumulated in the sand.

I continued making my way down the hill, eventually stopping at a shallow stream that divided the castle from the rest of the kingdom. 

[A/N]

This is dedicated to my friend Yoven <3