Growing Up

Chapter 1 ~ The Things That Come

Growing up. Something every young kid dreams of. They imagine themselves with their dream job and maybe even the love of their life. I used to be like that too. Excited to grow up, have a family, meet the love of my life and work at my dream job. But what kids don't understand is the responsibility of growing up. The anger, rage and disappointment in themselves. The depression and loss of connection to the world. The saddest part is they don't even know why they're sad. 

They just are. And the worst part, they can't tell anyone, because they don't want someone to give them sympathy and tell them about how sorry they are and how they went through the same thing. But at the same time, all the kids really want is for someone to notice how broken and well scared they are. Most of the time they just want a hug. I know I do.

What about love? You think that love will bring you happiness and peace. No. All it will bring you is trust issues and self doubt. You constantly think that you are not good enough and try to change yourself for that person. You get your parents' negativity and your friends' long essays about why they are bad for you. I met the love of my life recently and I couldn't even describe to you how much I love them. But the problem is, I'm not good enough for them. They say they love me and I know they do but that doesn't help the feeling of constant sadness knowing that I could never live up to the high expectations that they want. And the part that scares me the most is growing up. I mean just take a look at statistics. How many highschool relationships have lasted. And if they did how long until one's heart was shattered into unfixable pieces. 

Then there's the goodbyes. Most people say that if you love someone you have to learn to say goodbye. I never understood that when I was younger but now I understand it all too well. 

Saying goodbye to someone when you're not ready is one of the hardest things life could ever throw at you. 

I recently said goodbye to my best friend. People tell you to try and move on and that it was just an animal or it was just a person. But the truth is they don't know what it's like to have something that you love so dearly stripped away from you.