I Always Will

Poison and Wine

Sierra

Rain. The first thing that hit Sierra was rain as she ran out the door of her small cottage-like house. Life had been good; great husband, a wonderful little girl, and a beautiful house in the flatirons of Denver, Colorado. Sierra figured that everything had been going great, until the day she found out she was wrong.

One day, she decided to clean out the drawers in the office desk, just to keep it all organized. There was a huge stack of letters, covering one small, light yellow envelope. Sierra could tell it had been opened, so being the curious person she was, she decided to read it for herself too. At the top of the letter it read:

Conscription:

Mr. Karimloo,

We send this letter to notify you that you have been chosen to be a part of the United States Army. We regret to inform you that due to the lack of soldiers volunteering in our nation, we must recruit new soldiers to work in the armed forces. You will be shipped to Afghanistan on July 13th of this year to begin your services in the United States Army. 

We thank you for your time and willingness to keep our nation as safe as possible,

United States Government

Sierra couldn't believe what she had just read. This had to be some sort of mistake, surely Ramin would have told her about this the minute he found out. Why would he want to keep something has important as being deployed from her? Tears were glazing her eyes, but she knew she needed to keep her composure until he got home from work that evening. After all, she did still have their 5 year old little girl to take care of. 

The minute Ramin got home, Sierra fixed all of them a plate, and began to eat. Considering their daughter was 5, it didn't take as long as it could have for them to finish, and that's when Sierra knew she had to bring this up to Ramin. She knew if she started to beat around the bush, that she may never tell him. 

"Ramin," she started cautiously. "what's this?" she held up the little yellow envelope with a couple of apparent tear stains that weren't there the last time he had seen it.

"Sie I can explai-" he began before she cut him off.

"No Ramin. Why would you keep something like this from us? From me? Did you think that if you just woke up tomorrow morning and said 'Oh by the way I'm being deployed 3 months from now', that I would brush it off like it was nothing?" she yelled. After she took a breath, he noticed the tears trickling down her face.

He started to walk closer to her slowly, but she turned her back to him and covered her face, not wanting him to see her cry. Feeling weak was not one of Sierra's most favorite things, and even now in this situation she didn't want to appear that way. Apparently Ramin knew her well enough to know how she really needed to be comforted. He walked up behind and and slowly wrapped him arms around her. He turned her around to face him after a couple of seconds, and she buried her face into his t-shirt, now not being able to control the tears. She tried to take in every second of this, knowing she only had 3 more months of cuddling, kissing, the smell of his cologne, and a best friend.

Her words were slightly hard to understand considering how much her face was nuzzled into his chest, but he knew she head her say, "Don't leave me."

July 13th

Deployment day. The past three months had been nothing but wonderful, until at the end of every day she remembered that now it was one day less with Ramin. This was the day she had been dreading since the moment she found out. They had to leave for the airport early, which didn't give them a lot of time to be in each others company. The car ride there had felt like it was only a second long, and the goodbye felt even quicker. When the two made it as far as they were allowed to with Ramin, they knew this was it. 

Ramin was carrying their daughter, and when he had to put her down she started to cry too, not fully understanding what was going on. All she knew was that her daddy was leaving. He scooped her in  huge hug, and when that was done, he stood back up to Sierra. 

In army uniform and all, Ramin wrapped Sierra into the biggest hug he could without squeezing the life out of her. She leaned up and gave him a long, lingering kiss, knowing it would be the last one for a while. 

"You come home safe to me," she tried to say in a serious tone, but ended up whispering in a tone that broke his heart. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he said, starting to walk away. "I always will'." And with that, he was gone.

7 Months after deployment

This was only the fourth letter that Sierra had gotten from Ramin. Alongside the letter was the rest of the mail in the mailbox, and although she grabbed everything inside, she didn't pay it any attention. She ripped open the letter and read.

Sie,

If you're reading this, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave. I tried, I tried so hard, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep my promise. I know you'll be angry, and I understand. I vowed to be with you for the rest of my life and I couldn't do that. But know that what I did, I don't regret. It helped protect you and our little girl. Please give her a hug for me. Let her know that where I am, I'm better now. I had been wounded pretty bad, and I knew it was a long shot for me to make it, which is why I wrote this letter. Please, don't ever forget our memories. Making dinner with our daughter, watching The Little Mermaid every night for the past year, or even you pretending to get mad at me when I forget to do something as simple as taking the garbage out. I may not have made it, but we did. We shared 7 beautiful years together, and that's more than I could ever ask for. I wish I didn't have to send this, but it was the universe's plan for me I suppose. Take care of our little girl, and always sing to her every night for the both of us.

I love you. I always have, I always will.

Love, Ramin