To be honest I should be dead right now. Laying 6 feet deep in a color coated casket, with black roses spreaded around me like sweet perfume. There were times when I would sit on the bathroom floor grabbing the blade holding it up to my wrist feeling my eyes sting from the burning of my tears, but seeing myself struggle through therapy the second time ... Wasn't worth it... Times when I would sit in my room begging god to take my life ... But god gave me a flash in reality... See If I really was gone... Where would my mom end up? Where would my family end up? Especially my friends who I've helped through the same thing... That's what keeps me staying.... The thoughts still come... But I look at singers like P!nk and see what she had to go through.. One day... That will be me .. Smiling at adoring fans.. And talking to young girls about what I had to go through giving them inspiration to move forward.... But there are times when I still wanna be in my color coated casket... With black roses shimmered over me... Like the sweet smell of perfume...
