14 year old Bailey Rae was placed in an orphanage at the age of 5, when youtuber and music artist, ksi, comes looking for a new addition to the sidemen family, bailey seems like the perfect match. but what will the new chapter bring?
--------------------------- a few weeks later ---------------------------- *bailey's POV* ----------------------------
its been a few weeks since i moved here and it's probably be the biggest emotional rollercoaster of my life. some days have been brilliant and i couldn't of thought of a better place to be and other days ive felt awful and i regretted allowing myself to be brought here. at the moment it's one of them days and i feel like shit. ive been in a mood with everyone from the minute i woke up. i refused breakfast which caused an uproar between me and jj, we haven't spoken since then and i feel too petty and stubborn to apologise to him. as i was in the middle of my thoughts, my door opened, i was expecting it to be jj but ethan walked in and sat at the end of my bed. i put my head in my knees and sighed, i suppose i was gonna have to talk to someone eventually but i still wasn't feeling like socialising with anyone. it was silent for a few minutes before he spoke up
"JJ said you weren't feeling on top of the world today and everyone's a bit concerned, you alright bug?"
i smiled at the nickname he had given me when we first met, i lifted my head and he was looking at me with sympathy in his eyes, i felt guilty for worrying everyone but i still felt petty, so all i did was shrug, he smiled briefly and carried on
"i was wondering if you wanted to go out for the day. to give you some fresh air, it might make you feel better, if you don't want to thats fine but the offer is there if you want it"
i thought about it for a moment. i trusted ethan alot and i wanted to spend the day with him. i looked at him and he looked back at me. i thought again and nodded my head, he smiled and said
"thats my girl, get outta your pit and put some proper clothes on, take as long as you need, I'll be waiting downstairs"
we both stood up and i walked over to him and gave him a hug, he laughed but then hugged back. he walked out and closed the door behind him and i walked over to my wardrobe and picked out leggings and one of harrys jumpers. it had become clear i had taken a liking to wearing the boys' hoodies and i had quite a few from when they had stayed round.
baileys outfit:
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a few minutes later i was showered and dressed, i blow-dried my hair and put some wristbands on and walked down all the stairs, where i was greeted by everyone sat on the couch looking at me. i looked down and went to put my shoes on. i heard josh say
"and she's alive!"
thankyou josh. not needed.
i looked up and made eye contact with JJ. all of a sudden i felt guilty for being so antisocial towards him and i just hung my head and looked to the floor.
"you ready to go then bug?"
ethan already had his shoes and coat on and had his car keys in his hand. i nodded and muttered my goodbyes to all the guys and as i walked past harry he whispered in my ear
"cheer up bails, we all love you. nice jumper by the way;)"
i sniggered and walked out the door with ethan, got into his car and we started driving. it was quiet at first, nothing but the radio was making a sound. JJ's song (holiday) came on and both me and ethan started singing. by the end we were belting out the words and laughing. i can't lie, it was the most i had laughed for a while and i was truly enjoying myself, hanging out with ethan was really fun
"bug?"
i looked up and he looked as if he was gonna ask something
"how come you didn't feel the best this morning?"
i looked at my hands and sighed
"i guess i just didn't feel upto anything, i felt irritable but empty, like i could hear a bird chirping and i started crying because it annoyed me so much. JJ then woke me up after only 2 hours of sleep and i was still tired and-"
i started tearing up as we pulled into tescos car park
"it made me really angry with him and then he had to ask if i wanted breakfast and i don't want to eat at the moment because i hate the way i look and i need to be perfect to be JJ's daughter and im not perfect and everything's getting too much ethan. one day im happy as anything and the next im so miserable"
ethan looked like he had tears in his eyes and said
"hey, bug. its okay. i promise. nobody is perfect but you are so amazing in every single way possible. its okay to feel irritable.and its okay to feel down in the dumps. me, jj, josh, vik, tobi, simon and harry are all here for you. always. and if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to. one of us is always free and we will always listen to you. you are so important and we love you so much."
me and ethan shared a massive hug and i thought i would be cheeky
