Someting I Call Mine

Chapter 3

Gun waited in the bathroom for several minutes, drumming his foot impatiently. He ran his hand anxiously over his face. 

How long had he been there? Five minutes? Ten? He sure couldn't be sitting there all day. He could hear men after men enter and exit the bathroom. He had already heard several comments about that cubicle having been closed for a long time.

He slowly opened the door, leaned out, and looked around, the bathroom was empty. After making sure everything was clear, he crossed to the sinks and splashed water on his face. His reflection in the mirror caught his attention. 

He stared at himself for several seconds. The blonde's curious about how others view him? 

'Yes, he was young, also was inexperienced, but how was he supposed to gain experience if no one did anything with him?' 

Shaking his head in annoyance, Gun turned and left the bathroom. Slowly, He walked down the hall and paused to peer into the bar. 

Tara was standing next to the man who had sat next to him. The man's head was close to Tara's and his hand was on Tara's arm. They looked quite comfortable together. They looked like a couple. He wasn't surprised that Tara hadn't been interested in him.

 He had a beautiful man next to him. There was no way Gun could compete against him. The man was a "sexy boy" poster. It made him look like a teenager before puberty. With firm steps, Gun headed for his car. He unlocked the door and went upstairs. He put the key in the ignition and was about to start it when he dropped his hand and rested his forehead on the steering wheel. Tears burned in his eyes. 

That was not fair. His family didn't like him because he was gay. His old friends at his house didn't like him because he was gay. And as if that wasn't enough, gay men didn't want it either. Was he asking a lot? He just wanted a person who would love him and accept him as he was, not how they wanted him to be.He just wanted someone he could call his own, to come home at night, someone who was happy to see him. 

He shared the small one-bedroom apartment with another man because he couldn't pay anything else out of his salary. His roommate was hardly ever there. He would go out to work and come home, only to do the exact same thing the next day. 

He found his only distraction was going to the Blue Ocean Club every weekend. But he didn't see the point of continuing to go there now. Nobody wanted him anyway. To tell the truth, no one wanted him anywhere. 

His father had disowned him when he left. He told him that he should go and never come back. He was not even allowed to call home to speak to his mom. He was dead, as far as his father was concerned.

His friends had treated him like a burning rock. After every hateful name was told to him in the dictionary, he was beaten and left bleeding and bruised on the ground. And they were his friends since kindergarten.

Believe it or not, Gun had high hopes when he moved to the big city.

Here were many more people there. He had thought that he was sure that he would find someone. For so many times to the point, he had been disappointed. Seemingly, no one on the planet wanted him. 

What was the case of coming out of the closet if he couldn't find someone? He had thought of paying for sex. He smiled despite the tears. 

"With my luck, they would also say no to me."

A sudden tapping on the car window made Gun jump. He looked up to find Tara standing next to the car, touching his window. 

'Oh hell ...! Just what I needed'.