okay I can't believe I had to say this but... Please. Include. Details.
Instead of saying;
"I opened the birthday gift smiling and then frowning at the sight of the shoes"
"I ripped the wrapping paper off of the box, cracking it open. My smile faded when I saw it wasn't the shoes I asked for, some call me spoiled but I like to think of it as powerful"
Or let's say it's a date setting and the guys being a Chad.
"Chad looked at me and smirked making jokes about how flat I was in the dress"
"Chad looked me up and down and then chuckled 'you look like a dude in that dress!' I looked down mustering all my strength not to cry."
Those are just some examples, they fill the story better and help the readers grasp on what's happening better.
