Chance Encounters-An Eternal Love of Dreams Fan Fiction

Chapter Nine - Confession

"I know you worry Xiao Jiu. I promise to take extra care so you won't worry about me, all right?" Donghua said as he continued to hold her in his arms.  He made a mental note to himself not to mention to her that Liansong has also reported that they found other wards whose seal has been weakened also.   As one of them held the Komodora Dragon, a malevolent creature almost ten times as powerful as the Qingtian Beast, he knew she would be beside herself once she realizes that he would have to be the one to personally deal with that one also.

"So, you have to go soon?" He nodded. She knew that it was time, she had to tell him her real identity and why she was in the Palace in the first place. She's been wanting to confess for the past few weeks, ever since that day in the field when they admitted to their feelings for each other. She had made excuses though, telling herself she was hurting no one, finding reasons to justify continuing with the concealment, loathe to rock the boat, not wanting anything to disrupt the easy and companionable relationship they had going on. For it had been a blissful few weeks with him. Whenever they had dinner together, she liked to pretend that they were an old married couple spending time together at the end of the day, eating, chatting, just sharing their lives together.  She hadn't wanted that to stop. 

And so, she had prevaricated, and the more she delayed and postponed what she knew he had a right to know, the harder it became to tell him the truth. She was afraid of how he would react, scared that he will ask her to go back to Qingqiu because certainly even he will see that it was totally improper for the future queen of a realm to be working as a kitchen maid.  She told herself that It wasn't like he could give her another position, a more appropriate one that would allow her to remain by his side. But now he was leaving for who knows how long and as much as she was tempted to let the status quo remain until he got back, she knew she couldn't do that to him. He's always been honest with her, the least she could do was to be truthful with him too, however late it may be.

"Donghua, umm, I have something to tell you but ah after your dinner. You should eat first. I'm sure you're tired and hungry." she said feeling guilty about what she will soon be dumping on him when he clearly had had a long day.   He looked at her curiously wondering what she could have done that was making her look flustered and a little wary but he let her lead him back to the dining table. He snuck glances at her as he ate realizing that something was truly bothering  her but he didn't press her yet wanting to give her time, knowing that sooner or later, she will tell him what's on her mind.  She remained silent throughout the meal, not eating herself but mechanically spooning the food he liked onto his bowl, knowing his eating preference so much now that she did it automatically even without thinking.  Her mind was occupied by thoughts of how she would begin her confession, what she should say, how she should act but her mind remained a jumble of confusion. Soon, too soon (for her), he put down his chopsticks and finished his tea, and she knew that the time of grace that dinner had provided her had come to an end and she would have to say her piece.  No more excuses.  No more justification.  He deserved better from her.

"Are you all right?" he asked as he poured a cup of tea for her to drink. "You didn't eat anything."  He nudged her to take the tea which she automatically drank trying to tamp down the bile that was rising in her throat.

"I'm not hungry. Donghua, I..., there's something I haven't told you about me. I, I'm not really a kitchen maid. I mean, I am but it's not all I am. My real name is Bai Feng Jiu." she said nervously as she fidgeted in her chair wishing that she didn't have to do this. She knew she was botching the explanation, though, when he only gave her a puzzled look indicating with a nod of head for her to continue.  Feng Jiu wanted to smack her head, obviously, the name Bai Feng Jiu wouldn't mean anything to him as they've never met before and it wasn't as if she was famous enough to have her name easily recognizable by him. "I mean, I'm Qingqiu's Bai Feng Jiu. I'm the daughter of Bai Yi Dijun." she clarified clearing her throat.  His eyes widened in surprise at the mention of her father's name.