The Elevator

Regrets

Many pack members scurried out of the hall after the Elder's made their way to the Alpha's Office to deliberate. Although my chest felt at ease, the turmoil that ran through my mind wasn't any better. There were so many people at fault that I had no idea what the Elder's recommendations would be. 

Benji shook me from my thoughts and I quickly shook my head in response. "You alright? You seemed to be in your own world." He asked with a sad smile. 

"I'm fine honestly, I'm just glad everything is out in the open. Hopefully things will only get better for the pack now that all the secrets have been revealed." I sighed. "I'm gonna go for a walk, I wanna stretch my legs."

"Do you want some company?" Benji asked, I could hear the concern dripping in his voice. 

"No it's fine. I need to be on my own for a bit. My emotions are all over the place. I just need some time. I'll see you in a bit." I replied as I gently squeezed his hand and got up from my chair and exited the hall. 

There were small groups of people congregating outside the pack hall. The sun was shining in the sky and I could faintly hear the whispers and conversations from other pack members. 

"I can't believe that was Louise. She's changed so much."

"That poor child, she's been through so much. How can a mother treat their pup like that."

"How could our Beta's and Alpha fail us? That was their daughter? How could they not even try to find the truth out?"

"Margaret's behaviour shocked me the most? Encouraging her daughter to steal her other daughter's mate? What kind of mother does that?"

Their whispered words rang out in my head, I could sense my wolf's interference. She wanted me to hear what they had to say, she wanted me to understand that I was not being blamed for something I had no control over. The problem with my wolf was that she didn't understand that I didn't want to feel their pity or sympathy. It made me feel pathetic. 

I slowly made my way through the crowd's, not wanting anyone to speak to anyone. The last few hours had been nothing but painful, rehashing the pain that I felt all those years ago. I didn't realise how heavy the burden was and discussing it all in detail didn't make me feel any better. I mean it was good to get the truth out and for my reputation to be restored, but a huge part of me felt like it was too late. The damage the pack, my parents and my mate had caused was just too much and to only apologise eight years later, I just shook my head in disappointment. 

I found myself standing by the river that was close to drying up. It was here that I met my sister's mate Xavier. He was a good wolf and my sister was truly lucky to have him. If she had accepted her fate she would have lived a good life. I perched my bottom on the edge and deeply exhaled trying to rid myself of the residue emotions that were overwhelming me. 

There was no hope or future for me in this pack, even with my wolf howling and whimpering in the back of my mind to give them a chance, I just couldn't. Too much pain lingered in this pack for me to start again, the memories of being shunned by pack members, neglected and abused by my family, even the rejection. I couldn't stay here and be the Luna that they deserved, there was too much anger and too much resentment. The only thing I hoped to achieve was to help settle the war between the rouges run by Xavier and the pack. 

The thumping of footsteps hitting the forest floor caused me to halt my thinking. I didn't dare turn in their direction, I could smell him before I even saw him. I had nothing to say to him. He let out a small cough letting me know he was there and all I could do was let out a dark chuckle. 

"Yes John?" I responded. 

He let out a sigh. "Even without looking you knew it was me?" 

"You still have the same scent as you did when I was a teenager. Not a lot has changed, other than your position in the pack." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.