petal [book 1] ❊ l.s.

twenty one - believe in us

"Louis," Harry's voice roused Louis from a deep sleep. "Louis, please."

He groaned, rolling over to face the door. The mattress dipped beside him as Harry perched on the edge; still shaking off remnants of sleep, Louis reached for him instinctively, closing his fist around the younger boy's hip.

"Baby," he murmured, clearing his throat after he spoke. "Baby, what's wrong? Bad dream?"

It took another few seconds for his vision to adjust to the darkness, and he finally caught sight of Harry's red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Harry hid his face in both hands, his shoulders shuddering with silent sobs.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his muffled voice slipping out from between his fingers. "I can't sleep anymore, Lou, I just can't. I used to . . . I used to be able to. I don't know why. I just can't."

He hiccuped his way through another sob, barely getting the words out. Seeing Louis through the moonlit shadows, all messy hair and sleep-soft eyes, only made Harry cry harder.

"Baby," Louis said again, his thumb tracing over the band of Harry's pajama pants. "Don't cry. Please don't cry. Did you get yourself some water?"

Harry shook his head, his glossy eyes still hidden behind his hands.

Louis squeezed his hip. "Go grab yourself some water, then come back. It'll help your head." He still had to squint to make out Harry's shadow through the darkness, his eyes not quite adjusted to the ghostly moonlight. "Go on. I'll be right here."

"Okay." The mattress squeaked as Harry slipped out of bed, his footsteps echoing through their otherwise silent apartment.

Louis exhaled a breath, rolling onto his back and rubbing a hand over his heavy eyelids. It must have been around midnight, because he could still remember trying to fall asleep; he felt like he only spent a few short seconds wrapped in the soft embrace of sleep. He uncovered his eyes just as Harry padded back into the room, setting a half-full water glass on the nightstand.

"Slide in here with me," he said, lifting the warm covers to make an opening.

Harry crawled under the blankets, still wiping tears from his eyes. He cuddled into Louis's side immediately, wrapping an arm around the older boy's stomach and holding on tight. He hadn't even realized that he was still shaking until he felt Louis's strong, stable body against his own.

"It's okay," Louis soothed him gently, brushing his messy curls back from his forehead. "It'll all turn out alright. I promise."

"The cemetery," Harry sniffled. "It makes everything worse. They're all so close."

Louis nodded, humming out his understanding in a way he hoped sounded soothing. He wasn't sure that he would ever really understand the way that Harry saw the world -- the way that Harry existed in the world -- but he knew for a fact that Harry felt safer when they were together.

Being in the same apartment used to be enough. These days, he watched Harry tense as soon as they weren't touching anymore; he watched him grit his teeth and furrow his brow the moment that Louis's hand slipped away from his own.

Stupid voices. Stupid fucking cemetery.

He tangled his fingers in Harry's hair, scratching at his head with gentle fingers. "Can you try to get some sleep now, petal?" he whispered.

Harry nodded tentatively, his cheek squished against Louis's chest like he just couldn't get close enough.

"Stay right here with me, alright? And if you have another nightmare, you wake me up. I don't want you crying on your own when I'm right here."