stay away

my last christmas

song of the chapter • last christmas-wham!

I love the christmas time. decorating the tree, hot cider and coco.  everything about it is just so, comforting. or it was.

like most things in this hell-hole of a house, the cozy/comfortable atmosphere of winter and christmas have come to an end. nothing is the same.
nothing can be the same.
everything is ruined now. ruined. never to be the same again.

tate hasn't talked to me. i havent seen him. like actually seen him or rather taken a good look at him since our last talk. my brothers birth, my mothers death. it's not like i want to see him. or try to see him. or try to hear his voice. or listen to the silence willing to hear an apology that isn't there. but i see glimpses of him. i hear small voices saying something but i cannot hear exactly what they're saying. it's driving me insane.

"i would never hurt you. when you love someone, you never hurt them"

i can remember him saying that. so vividly.

fucking lair.

he said that months ago. and i believed him all those months ago. it's almost christmas now. we decorated today and i loved every second of it. we felt like an actual family again. and then i saw him. standing  just outside of the door, looking at us. he was with her. 

her being the bitch that started this fucking freak-show of a life. i could see that they both looked sad. the light glistening of their glazed eyes. i almost felt bad for them. but they only feel bad because they didn't get what they want.

wanted?

i have no idea if they are still reaching for their original objectives.

she wants my father. but she can't get him.
he wants me. but he can't get me.

they're in the same boat. which is terrifying. the two monsters wanting the same thing. or wanted. i can't tell. she hasn't come to bother us. neither has he. hopefully they leave us the fuck alone this holiday season.

thats the only gift i want.

AN: hii!! sorry i haven't updated in a while but im back now!! i hope u have a wonderful holiday season. i tried so hard to make this chapter christmas/ holiday themed but it didn't rlly work. i mean its literally a show about death☠️. idk when ill update again but it shouldn't be a too long of a wait from now. i hope u are having fun and staying safe ! hoe hoe hoe and merry (almost) christmas if u celebrate!!